A Moment of Forever (I stole those words from Kris Kristofferson)

I was subserviently and obediently motoring to work yesterday, and I flicked on Outlaw Country.

First thing I realize is that Steve Earle is the guest DJ. I am tired of explaining my musical tastes to the uninitiated. If you want to know who he is, google him.

What I immediately understood was that this was going to be legit - the music I was about to experience would revive my suffocating soul.

Here are the first five things I heard.

"Me and Bobby McGee" sung by Kris Kristofferson. You probably never heard that version, the original fucking version. He wrote the damn song and all you can think about is Janis Joplin. Earle referred to him as the maestro. Perfect.

Next up "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down" by The Band. Great, great song that just covers your entire being with emotion. Even if you are not from the south.

Then "Red Headed Stranger" by Willie Nelson. The album shares the same name and a movie was also made about the story. It was 1975 and Willie was just starting to flex his muscles. Just signed to Columbia records he was given total creative control over his works. Unprecedented.

It is a concept album, which was rare at the time. The story was about a fugitive on the run from the law after killing his wife and her lover. Columbia did not want to release it because it was sparse - mostly guitar, piano and drums. Willie refused to change a thing. It was a blockbuster, going multi-platinum in sales and made Nelson HUGE in the world of country music.

Damn good song.

Then: Townes Van Zandt. I forget what song Earle played but it doesn't matter. I love them all. Townes was a songwriter's songwriter. The highest respect an artist can receive. He was one of those dudes who never made it big, but wrote achingly honest songs.

Next: Guy Clark. I forget the song but it doesn't matter because I love them all. Guy was also a songwriter's songwriter and a good friend of Townes.

ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE. Just like that.

Takes me a while to come down off the intense emotional high of a run like that when I arrive at work. Such a menial, superficial job trying to tear me down and make me just like everyone else. Thank God I had the musical high to think back on as I said for the 26,000th time "And the security code?" into the phone.

My musical tastes and knowledge run deep. I don't listen to superficial music, I pay no attention to superficial artists. What I love is meaningful.  It has to be. It is my sustenance.

The songs express emotions in a raw and honest way; they tell a story about what it means to be a human being trying to figure out how the hell to survive. How to be happy. The artists have depth and empathy, intelligence, and a soul deep understanding of how hard life is on so many different levels.

I am proud of what I know. I am proud of what I listen to.

It is a massive part of this twisted being identified as Joseph Testa.

Bonus fact: On the ride home I heard "The Week of Living Dangerously" by Steve Earle himself (played by another DJ). Rocked my way home with a motherfucking smile on my face.

Holy Shit - Seriously Dark Lyrics (with some humor)

"I used to know a drug dealer His name was Billy Jack.
  The Mexican cartel cut his head off, and he ain't comin' back
  God knows I sure do miss my buddy; he had some killer pot
  This ole stray dog and Jesus are all the friends I got

  The pain pill jar is empty, my Wild Irish Rose is gone
  But I found a tube of model airplane glue and I'm gettin' my buzz on
  Why's everybody judging me when the Good Book says "Judge not"
  This ole stray dog and Jesus are all the friends I got"

That's how the song starts off. Kaboom! It goes on from there in the same positive vein.

From "Old Stray Dog and Jesus" by Paul Thorn

A Trump Primer

Started reading "The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich" this morning.

Wanna get a solid feel about what to expect from the turd in the White House. I'm only forty pages in (only 1,100 more to go).

It is frightening how similar some of his thought process (if you can call it that) is to Hitler's.

Buckle up, motherfuckers.

What I Have in Common With Adolf Hitler

When Hitler was a teenager his father died, creating a difficult financial situation for his mother.

"Though the ailing widow found it difficult to make ends meet on her meager income, young Adolf declined to help out by getting a job. The idea of earning even his own living by any kind of regular employment was repulsive to him and was to remain so throughout his life."

Take a Measure of Your Pleasure Wherever You Can Find It

Been listening to Outlaw Country the last coupla days on Sirius XM.

Normally I would avoid a station with an insulting marketing name like that. Implication being you're gonna hear a whole lot of music from the bad boys of country.

Not the case. However the station endeared itself to me because it is intelligent.

Heard a song with Waylon and Willie. In it they refer to Jerry Jeff Walker. Next song? By Jerry Jeff Walker. Not that much of a stretch, but if you don't know who Jerry Jeff is you got a little taste of him.

But they went way beyond that.

Next up - "Four Strong Winds", a beautiful and melancholy song written by Ian Tyson and, in this case, performed by Neil Young. They played "Willin", by Little Feat - one of my favorites. They played a song by Delbert McClinton. Delbert is a blues dude, for Christ sake. They played some Tom Petty. Fuckin' a right. In so doing they mentioned the Tom Petty station on Sirius. I set that puppy up.

You get where I am going with this?

They are painting outside the lines. They are going for a feel, not a genre. I fucking hate that word when it is applied to music. Know which genre of music is my favorite? MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reminded me of when I was a mere teenager listening to FM radio, which was fairly new at the time. They could do anything they wanted to do, and they did.

Sometimes they would play one entire side of an album. Sometimes what they played reminded them of something else, say John Coltrane. Next thing you knew you were listening to John Coltrane on a rock 'n roll station. Tremendous education. Excellent exposure.

They would read poetry or literary quotes. Go on political rants. It was wide open. It was a living, breathing thing.

Now regular radio is programmed by robots and aimed at dead people.

But Sirius XM approximates old tymey FM radio. They are pretty wide open. Steven Van Zandt has a station called Little Steven's Underground Garage. That station blows my mind. No boundaries. You never know what they are going to play and it is all good. From the 40's to right now, maybe going back farther than that. Quite tasty.

Only problem with Outlaw Country is the DJ's. Holy shit, the few that I have heard have heavy Southern accents. And I mean almost indecipherable Southern accents. They sound ridiculous. But I want to believe they are genuine. Otherwise they must be executed.

The icing on the cake came last night on my ride home. Listened to a few good country songs. Then "Free Fallin'" by Tom Petty came on. I belted that out at maximum volume just like me and Alan used to do in 1989. I felt so damn good.

Felt alive.

.

"Mostly he'd always been a threat to himself and anyone who depended on him."

From The Scarpetta Factor

August 1

A gentle reminder.

I don't panic anymore. We don't do much anyway. It's not like we are out on a cigarette boat every weekend. I am just happy not being cold.

But I thought I would give you a nudge. You may be distracted.