I met you in 1972.
You married me in 1978.
You are still with me in 2011.
You must be insane.
Through 33 years, the lows have been lower
than we ever expected.
The highs not as high as we would have liked.
Except Keith and Craig. They were and are the
ultimate high, and they will never be topped.
That's the way it's supposed to be.
And they would never be as cool as they are
without you as a mother.
The ultimate compliment.
You worry about being 58; I love you now
more than ever, with a love that has been forged
through the fire of survival and is stronger for that.
You are sensitive, unselfish, loving, positive,
talented, intelligent, hard working, natural, strong,
beautiful on the inside, beautiful on the outside,
and straight ahead honest.
You live by your convictions.
We, your family, are lucky to have you and we
know it. I am the luckiest of all.
The strength and beauty of your spirit are inspired
by your ability to just be you. No pretensions.
I love you. I am grateful that you love me.
Happy Birthday, baby.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Saturday, November 26, 2011
A Day In The Life
I cranked out a couple of sit ups yesterday in the kitchen, and then elevated my bloated carcass up to walk into the room that houses the exercise bike. On the way I passed "the table and chairs." The same table and chairs that on Thanksgiving were inhabited by my family. With laughter and conversation. Yesterday they were empty and the house was silent.
It struck me how fleeting those moments are. Your life is 99% sweat, worry and toil, and 1% purity. And those short, sweet moments go by at a faster clip than normal time.
A day at work can seem like 137 hours. Eight hours with my family felt like 3 seconds.
Life is strange, people. Life is strange.
Today is a bonus day. It is Saturday and I do not have to work. Typically, low wage earners like myself do not get to enjoy such a luxury. I have tomorrow off as well. Two days in a row. Might as well be a month.
Today is Carol's birthday.
So before she arose I was sitting in the recliner, in quiet, thinking these thoughts.
I had big dreams for her birthday that our budget would not allow. I so deeply want to spend $1,000 on her, pamper her, buy her something extravagant. She deserves it.
I spent considerably less than $1,000, and I am not happy about the gifts I gave her.
As I sat there, though, a strange thing happened. I thought about the fact that I was sitting in an expensive, comfortable and well worn recliner with a sweet cat in my lap. Cup of coffee. Book. The house is warm. It is not snowing. The electric bill has been paid, there is food in the fridge and booze in the bar. The Mortgage Vampire has been held at bay for one more month. I have the freedom of two days. To be with my wife. To be with myself. To be myself.
Pretty good deal.
I am not satisfied. I am yearning and striving and trying to improve and change our lives. But until I get there, moments like these are valuable. It signals a sea change in my tiny brain that these thoughts can even roam freely up there. In the past I would destroy the day with regret over having only $1.98 to spend on birthday gifts for my wife of thirty three years. Instead I will accept my limitations THIS YEAR and vow to spoil her in 2012. Actually surprise is a better word than spoil. I want her eyes to light up like lightening in the sky next year. I want her mouth to form the word WOW without actually being able to say it.
The trick is to enjoy everything in between. Another lesson learned this year.
I am killing myself to improve, to change, to conceive, believe and achieve. I realized that I was so focused, so determined, that I was burning myself up. Missing things and torturing myself over not getting any signs at all that what I am doing will be rewarded.
There has to be a balance. Make the ch ch ch ch changes happen and dig what you have along the way.
Small movie called When A Man Loves A Woman. Carol and I have watched it 123,657 times. Meg Ryan is an alcoholic wife, Andy Garcia her long suffering husband. Watch it. It's cool. There's a scene at an AA meeting where Meg is talking about how she pushed her husband away and how she dreams about getting him back.
And she says, in part, "And I don't know if I'm going to get another chance, but I have to believe that I deserve one. Because we all do." She says it with tears in her eyes, and with enormous pain and loss and longing and hope in her voice. Knocks me out every time.
That's how I feel this year. This year was the beginning of my second chance. I have to believe that I deserve one. That's why I am so determined. I have traded regret for hope. The fascinating lesson I have learned is that I can miss "the now" just as easily when I am inspired by hope, as I did when I wallowed in regret.
As usual I have gotten off track talking about myself.
Carol and I have today and tomorrow. We have her birthday to celebrate. We will spend these days washing the dishes, going to the dump, going to a movie and probably not being able to afford a restaurant, watching THE PATS, enjoying a belly buster breakfast and delicious leftover turkey. A kiss and a hug here and there.
I want a lot more than that down the road, but I would be a fool to not enjoy this magical Saturday and this magical Sunday.
I have been an enormous fool before. But I am learning, baby. I am learning.
It struck me how fleeting those moments are. Your life is 99% sweat, worry and toil, and 1% purity. And those short, sweet moments go by at a faster clip than normal time.
A day at work can seem like 137 hours. Eight hours with my family felt like 3 seconds.
Life is strange, people. Life is strange.
Today is a bonus day. It is Saturday and I do not have to work. Typically, low wage earners like myself do not get to enjoy such a luxury. I have tomorrow off as well. Two days in a row. Might as well be a month.
Today is Carol's birthday.
So before she arose I was sitting in the recliner, in quiet, thinking these thoughts.
I had big dreams for her birthday that our budget would not allow. I so deeply want to spend $1,000 on her, pamper her, buy her something extravagant. She deserves it.
I spent considerably less than $1,000, and I am not happy about the gifts I gave her.
As I sat there, though, a strange thing happened. I thought about the fact that I was sitting in an expensive, comfortable and well worn recliner with a sweet cat in my lap. Cup of coffee. Book. The house is warm. It is not snowing. The electric bill has been paid, there is food in the fridge and booze in the bar. The Mortgage Vampire has been held at bay for one more month. I have the freedom of two days. To be with my wife. To be with myself. To be myself.
Pretty good deal.
I am not satisfied. I am yearning and striving and trying to improve and change our lives. But until I get there, moments like these are valuable. It signals a sea change in my tiny brain that these thoughts can even roam freely up there. In the past I would destroy the day with regret over having only $1.98 to spend on birthday gifts for my wife of thirty three years. Instead I will accept my limitations THIS YEAR and vow to spoil her in 2012. Actually surprise is a better word than spoil. I want her eyes to light up like lightening in the sky next year. I want her mouth to form the word WOW without actually being able to say it.
The trick is to enjoy everything in between. Another lesson learned this year.
I am killing myself to improve, to change, to conceive, believe and achieve. I realized that I was so focused, so determined, that I was burning myself up. Missing things and torturing myself over not getting any signs at all that what I am doing will be rewarded.
There has to be a balance. Make the ch ch ch ch changes happen and dig what you have along the way.
Small movie called When A Man Loves A Woman. Carol and I have watched it 123,657 times. Meg Ryan is an alcoholic wife, Andy Garcia her long suffering husband. Watch it. It's cool. There's a scene at an AA meeting where Meg is talking about how she pushed her husband away and how she dreams about getting him back.
And she says, in part, "And I don't know if I'm going to get another chance, but I have to believe that I deserve one. Because we all do." She says it with tears in her eyes, and with enormous pain and loss and longing and hope in her voice. Knocks me out every time.
That's how I feel this year. This year was the beginning of my second chance. I have to believe that I deserve one. That's why I am so determined. I have traded regret for hope. The fascinating lesson I have learned is that I can miss "the now" just as easily when I am inspired by hope, as I did when I wallowed in regret.
As usual I have gotten off track talking about myself.
Carol and I have today and tomorrow. We have her birthday to celebrate. We will spend these days washing the dishes, going to the dump, going to a movie and probably not being able to afford a restaurant, watching THE PATS, enjoying a belly buster breakfast and delicious leftover turkey. A kiss and a hug here and there.
I want a lot more than that down the road, but I would be a fool to not enjoy this magical Saturday and this magical Sunday.
I have been an enormous fool before. But I am learning, baby. I am learning.
Friday, November 25, 2011
Thanksgiving 2011 2.0, and Other Thoughts
Sweet enjoyment. A triumph, my dear, a triumph.
Great Thanksgiving. Keith, Emily, Craig, Karen. And of course the original source of all this greatness - Carol and Joe.
Massive meal (we're gonna need a bigger table). 100 pound turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans, stuffing, cranberry sauce (for me - I'm the only one that eats it), gravy, awesome sweet potato concoction and a pumpkin corn bread innovation courtesy of Emily.
Pecan pie, pumpkin pie, apple crisp.
Conversation, laughter, revelations and contemplations. Football. Contented sloth and expanded stomachs. A dog and two reclusive cats.
Carol and I enjoy the gift of an honest family, loving and fun - no pretensions, no bullshit. It is a true joy and a celebration for us to enjoy their company in such a relaxed setting. They were tots, then there were not. They all have their own lives and perspectives and hopes and dreams and struggles and disappointments.
We get together as a family and there is love and respect and the soul deep reward that comes from blood connection.
Today is quiet and contemplative by way of contrast. Thanksgiving gone too fast but enjoyed to the max.
One major holiday down, two (or three depending on your perspective) to go. T-Day is the real one. Christmas is on deck. It's cool, it's fun, but there is stress involved and financial pressure and crazygonuts rushing around. I still dig it. I dig the strangeness of it. A tree in your living room. Lots of lights and colors and Christmas music. Packages wrapped in oddly festive paper. It is it's own fantasy world, kind of like being high without ingesting a drug.
New year's Eve and New Year's Day. Is that one holiday or two? I say two.
NYE is typically get stupid time. You get loaded to celebrate the relief of having survived another bizarre year of life and to carefully anticipate another year layered on to all those that came before. I have gotten drunk 10,000 times on NYE, but in my soul I always thought it was stupid. Makes more sense to me to celebrate the passing of time with reverence. But what the hell do I know? My station in life prevents my opinions from carrying great weight.
New Year's Day. A day to recover. A day to ease into a new year. A day to throw up. My birthday. I have always found it strange to know that 99% of the world is gobbling Advil and kneeling in supplication before the toilet on my birthday. And god knows I have been there myself many, many times.
Coming from an Italian family, a huge meal was always prepared on my birthday, many relatives in attendance. I would stagger out of bed, head pounding, stomach roiling and fake my way through the meal. What a shame. So many magnificent meals prepared by my mother that I did not enjoy.
Odd to me that all these celebrations are concentrated in a two month period. Blam, you are getting emotional and reflective and digging family and examining your life and engaging in insane escape and suddenly the new year is here and you are back to work in the coal mine with no holiday in sight for five months.
How bizarre, how bizarre.
But I'll dive in and wrestle what I can out of what is to come between today and 01/01/12. I'll get happy and I'll love and be grateful for my family. These holidays offer an escape from predictability and monotony and that is a special opportunity.
Yesterday blew by too fast. I dug my heals in but I could not slow it down. My brain has memories locked in of looking across the dinner table at the five magnificent people in attendance with awe. Even thought I have to work today (so do Keith and Craig) which sucks royally, I will take a few minutes here and there to draw on those mental images, and that will give me what I need to stumble through a day of obligation.
Bring on Christmas. Bring on NYE and NYD. Bring on my 58th birthday. I'm ready for all of you guys. Gonna make the most of it. Try to etch wrinkles in my face to approximate and remind me of the perpetual smile that will accentuate and express the fun and contentment.
2012 looms ahead and weighs heavy on my mind. But that is a topic for another time and another place.
Great Thanksgiving. Keith, Emily, Craig, Karen. And of course the original source of all this greatness - Carol and Joe.
Massive meal (we're gonna need a bigger table). 100 pound turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans, stuffing, cranberry sauce (for me - I'm the only one that eats it), gravy, awesome sweet potato concoction and a pumpkin corn bread innovation courtesy of Emily.
Pecan pie, pumpkin pie, apple crisp.
Conversation, laughter, revelations and contemplations. Football. Contented sloth and expanded stomachs. A dog and two reclusive cats.
Carol and I enjoy the gift of an honest family, loving and fun - no pretensions, no bullshit. It is a true joy and a celebration for us to enjoy their company in such a relaxed setting. They were tots, then there were not. They all have their own lives and perspectives and hopes and dreams and struggles and disappointments.
We get together as a family and there is love and respect and the soul deep reward that comes from blood connection.
Today is quiet and contemplative by way of contrast. Thanksgiving gone too fast but enjoyed to the max.
One major holiday down, two (or three depending on your perspective) to go. T-Day is the real one. Christmas is on deck. It's cool, it's fun, but there is stress involved and financial pressure and crazygonuts rushing around. I still dig it. I dig the strangeness of it. A tree in your living room. Lots of lights and colors and Christmas music. Packages wrapped in oddly festive paper. It is it's own fantasy world, kind of like being high without ingesting a drug.
New year's Eve and New Year's Day. Is that one holiday or two? I say two.
NYE is typically get stupid time. You get loaded to celebrate the relief of having survived another bizarre year of life and to carefully anticipate another year layered on to all those that came before. I have gotten drunk 10,000 times on NYE, but in my soul I always thought it was stupid. Makes more sense to me to celebrate the passing of time with reverence. But what the hell do I know? My station in life prevents my opinions from carrying great weight.
New Year's Day. A day to recover. A day to ease into a new year. A day to throw up. My birthday. I have always found it strange to know that 99% of the world is gobbling Advil and kneeling in supplication before the toilet on my birthday. And god knows I have been there myself many, many times.
Coming from an Italian family, a huge meal was always prepared on my birthday, many relatives in attendance. I would stagger out of bed, head pounding, stomach roiling and fake my way through the meal. What a shame. So many magnificent meals prepared by my mother that I did not enjoy.
Odd to me that all these celebrations are concentrated in a two month period. Blam, you are getting emotional and reflective and digging family and examining your life and engaging in insane escape and suddenly the new year is here and you are back to work in the coal mine with no holiday in sight for five months.
How bizarre, how bizarre.
But I'll dive in and wrestle what I can out of what is to come between today and 01/01/12. I'll get happy and I'll love and be grateful for my family. These holidays offer an escape from predictability and monotony and that is a special opportunity.
Yesterday blew by too fast. I dug my heals in but I could not slow it down. My brain has memories locked in of looking across the dinner table at the five magnificent people in attendance with awe. Even thought I have to work today (so do Keith and Craig) which sucks royally, I will take a few minutes here and there to draw on those mental images, and that will give me what I need to stumble through a day of obligation.
Bring on Christmas. Bring on NYE and NYD. Bring on my 58th birthday. I'm ready for all of you guys. Gonna make the most of it. Try to etch wrinkles in my face to approximate and remind me of the perpetual smile that will accentuate and express the fun and contentment.
2012 looms ahead and weighs heavy on my mind. But that is a topic for another time and another place.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Thanksgiving 2011
I planned on popping in here tonight to wax eloquent about Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving. It is a pure holiday. No bullshit. No presents to buy or shopping to do. You get together with your family and enjoy a miraculous meal, you talk, you laugh and dig each other for the sake of digging each other. I love that.
I hunger for purity in everything I do. That's why I am eternally frustrated, unhappy, lost and just plain stupefied. Pure moments are few and far between.
I am lucky to have a family that magnifies the beauty of the holiday. Thanksgiving in my home is easy going, laid back, loving and fun. Carol is The Queen of Thanksgiving and we are all her lucky subjects.
So the anticipation is building. The Booze Emporium was Insane today and will be Beyond Insane tomorrow. People need their booze during the holidays.
Got home tired but one day closer. Quiet house, the wife is bowling. Note from Carol: My brother had called to tell us his ex-wife's mother had died.
Death has a way of creeping in or blowing in or marching in and waking you up and shaking you up.
The death of a family member is always sad. It doesn't matter to me that my brother is divorced or that we really had little contact with his mother-in-law over the years. She was a human being that was brought into my life, which means that she matters. And I know that Kathy is hurting tonight and that this holiday season will be painful for her.
I think for it to happen at this time of year is even sadder. Especially Thanksgiving.
You are gearing up to celebrate your life and your love and your family and hopefully your good fortune. And death steps up and says "Hold on, buddy - here's a heavy taste of reality. There will be no celebrating this year."
As a parent you have to be flexible during the holidays. The perfect setting for us is when Keith and Emily (possibly Cooper), Craig and Karen, my brother Ed and his woman, Carol and me gather at our home. All the pieces of the puzzle are there and the result is perfection.
This year Karen cannot be here because she will be with her family. Which makes perfect sense. Eddie will not be here because he wants to stay closer to home. Makes perfect sense. On top of missing two important pieces to this happiness, death has decided to attend. Just invited his bad-ass self with no regard for the effect.
We will have a magnificent day. Thanks to Carol, the meal will be amazing as always. We will laugh and enjoy honest, easy going conversation, watch football and get fatter.
It won't be such a good day for Kathy, her father and the rest of her family.
You have to dig the good days. I have loved many amazing Thanksgivings thanks to my magical family. This year will be a little different. But I will go with that, content to see my beautiful, precious sons, Emily, (maybe Cooper), Carol, to eat supremely, to laugh effortlessly, to watch my favorite sport, to sit back in amazement after everybody has gone home and count my blessings for the loving woman who will be sitting beside me and for another chapter of memories written by our kids and their lives.
I'll be a little more focused, a little sharper. Because reality has intruded to pierce the dream a little.
That's OK. The next time we all get together I will dig it all the more.
Kathy will not have that chance. Her mother is gone.
Dig it,people. Grab this holiday, 11/24/11 and wrestle every drop of happiness you can out of it. You never know when you might lose that opportunity.
I hunger for purity in everything I do. That's why I am eternally frustrated, unhappy, lost and just plain stupefied. Pure moments are few and far between.
I am lucky to have a family that magnifies the beauty of the holiday. Thanksgiving in my home is easy going, laid back, loving and fun. Carol is The Queen of Thanksgiving and we are all her lucky subjects.
So the anticipation is building. The Booze Emporium was Insane today and will be Beyond Insane tomorrow. People need their booze during the holidays.
Got home tired but one day closer. Quiet house, the wife is bowling. Note from Carol: My brother had called to tell us his ex-wife's mother had died.
Death has a way of creeping in or blowing in or marching in and waking you up and shaking you up.
The death of a family member is always sad. It doesn't matter to me that my brother is divorced or that we really had little contact with his mother-in-law over the years. She was a human being that was brought into my life, which means that she matters. And I know that Kathy is hurting tonight and that this holiday season will be painful for her.
I think for it to happen at this time of year is even sadder. Especially Thanksgiving.
You are gearing up to celebrate your life and your love and your family and hopefully your good fortune. And death steps up and says "Hold on, buddy - here's a heavy taste of reality. There will be no celebrating this year."
As a parent you have to be flexible during the holidays. The perfect setting for us is when Keith and Emily (possibly Cooper), Craig and Karen, my brother Ed and his woman, Carol and me gather at our home. All the pieces of the puzzle are there and the result is perfection.
This year Karen cannot be here because she will be with her family. Which makes perfect sense. Eddie will not be here because he wants to stay closer to home. Makes perfect sense. On top of missing two important pieces to this happiness, death has decided to attend. Just invited his bad-ass self with no regard for the effect.
We will have a magnificent day. Thanks to Carol, the meal will be amazing as always. We will laugh and enjoy honest, easy going conversation, watch football and get fatter.
It won't be such a good day for Kathy, her father and the rest of her family.
You have to dig the good days. I have loved many amazing Thanksgivings thanks to my magical family. This year will be a little different. But I will go with that, content to see my beautiful, precious sons, Emily, (maybe Cooper), Carol, to eat supremely, to laugh effortlessly, to watch my favorite sport, to sit back in amazement after everybody has gone home and count my blessings for the loving woman who will be sitting beside me and for another chapter of memories written by our kids and their lives.
I'll be a little more focused, a little sharper. Because reality has intruded to pierce the dream a little.
That's OK. The next time we all get together I will dig it all the more.
Kathy will not have that chance. Her mother is gone.
Dig it,people. Grab this holiday, 11/24/11 and wrestle every drop of happiness you can out of it. You never know when you might lose that opportunity.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Even in New Hampshire
I am so disgusted with New Hampshire. I want to think that our free thinking, rebellious spirit is tempered with intelligence. Then I saw a Perry for President sign in my own town. Idiots.
And now this.
Four republican members of the New Hampshire House are supporting a legal challenge brought by Orly Taitz (idiot, and a California lawyer) questioning President Barack Obama's right to be on the Democratic primary ballet. She questions the validity of his birth certificate and Social Security number.
The four NH reps are Harry Accornero (idiot), Larry Rappaport (idiot), Lucien and Carol Vita (idiots).
I wonder if any of them run around with bedsheets over their heads at night.
These people are disgusting and should be immediately ousted from office without benefit of a trial just for wasting the legislatures time. New Hampshire might be better off than the national average unemployment-wise but I still come into contact with many people who are struggling and suffering. And there are lots of other substantive issues to be dealt with in this state. Real issues that affect people's lives.
republicans continue to make a mockery of our political process while completely avoiding the issues that threaten to bring this country down.
I am sick of it, I am livid and so are a hell of a lot of other people (OWS). This type of incompetence should be punished severely. If voting was fueled by intelligence, not one republican would survive their next election. And President Barack Obama would be guaranteed a second term.
But politics in this country does not work that way. We allow for a lack of professionalism that drags the average intelligence quotient of the political world below that of a kindergarten student. And these assheads are not even embarrassed. They are proud to put their stupidity and lack of concern for this country openly on display.
If I went into The Booze Emporium tomorrow and held everything up, stopped people from shopping, so I could conduct an experiment supporting my theory that placing bottles upside down on the shelves can increase sales, I would be fired. On the spot.
These morons should be treated the same way.
I will go to each of their websites and tell them so, because I have to get this out of my system. But I know I am wasting my time. Nothing will change and they will dismiss ME as a crackpot.
Wake up, America. Your future is being sabotaged by small minded, unintelligent, blindly partisan fools.
And now this.
Four republican members of the New Hampshire House are supporting a legal challenge brought by Orly Taitz (idiot, and a California lawyer) questioning President Barack Obama's right to be on the Democratic primary ballet. She questions the validity of his birth certificate and Social Security number.
The four NH reps are Harry Accornero (idiot), Larry Rappaport (idiot), Lucien and Carol Vita (idiots).
I wonder if any of them run around with bedsheets over their heads at night.
These people are disgusting and should be immediately ousted from office without benefit of a trial just for wasting the legislatures time. New Hampshire might be better off than the national average unemployment-wise but I still come into contact with many people who are struggling and suffering. And there are lots of other substantive issues to be dealt with in this state. Real issues that affect people's lives.
republicans continue to make a mockery of our political process while completely avoiding the issues that threaten to bring this country down.
I am sick of it, I am livid and so are a hell of a lot of other people (OWS). This type of incompetence should be punished severely. If voting was fueled by intelligence, not one republican would survive their next election. And President Barack Obama would be guaranteed a second term.
But politics in this country does not work that way. We allow for a lack of professionalism that drags the average intelligence quotient of the political world below that of a kindergarten student. And these assheads are not even embarrassed. They are proud to put their stupidity and lack of concern for this country openly on display.
If I went into The Booze Emporium tomorrow and held everything up, stopped people from shopping, so I could conduct an experiment supporting my theory that placing bottles upside down on the shelves can increase sales, I would be fired. On the spot.
These morons should be treated the same way.
I will go to each of their websites and tell them so, because I have to get this out of my system. But I know I am wasting my time. Nothing will change and they will dismiss ME as a crackpot.
Wake up, America. Your future is being sabotaged by small minded, unintelligent, blindly partisan fools.
What A Ride
Riding home from Maine last night, Carol pops in a home made CD into the Peace Mobile CD machine. Four songs in a row blew the top of my head off. Now, mind you, there was alcohol in my veins. We were heading home after an enjoyable day spent at Sarge's Tailgate Grille in Saco, ME. THE GREATEST RESTAURANT AND BAR ON THE EASTERN SEABOARD. GO THERE.
Anyway, I was feeling fine and the lyrics dripped directly into my blood stream. You may think me an overly dramatic idiot. That is your prerogative.
Maggie May - "I suppose I could collect my books and get on back to school. Or steal my daddy's cue and make a living out of playing pool. Or find myself a rock 'n roll band that needs a helping hand." I like the idea of having free and easy choices. Two out of three are kind of out there. I'd love to be in the position to sit back and mull over a variety of strange things I could do with my life.
Bridge Over Troubled Waters - The most amazing "I care about you and I will help you" song ever recorded. Majestic, powerful, emotional. Art Garfunkel is mind blowing. I truly believe he will help me when I'm down. I FEEL it.
Slip Sliding Away - "And I know a father who had a son. He longed to tell him all the reasons for the things he'd done. He came a long way just to explain. he kissed his boy as he lay sleeping, then he turned around and he headed home again." AND: "God only knows, God makes his plan. The information's unavailable to the mortal man. We're workin' our jobs, collect our pay. Believe we're gliding down the highway when in fact we're slip sliding away." BAM a blast of reality right in the face. And right after the magical beauty of Bridge Over Troubled Waters. An emotional roller coaster. Paul Simon, baby. He tells it like it is. We hurt each other and cannot explain ourselves. When we try, we realize there are no words. We fool ourselves into thinking we're doing something with our lives, but we miss the soul deep magic and mystery that is the precious gift of life.
Air That I Breathe - back to pure emotion, baby. The Hollies. "Sometimes all I need is the air that I breathe and to love you." This is what all of us long for. Said so simply which makes it so powerful. Sung beautifully and emotionally. We all want to love and be loved, to lose ourselves in the warmth and meaning and feeling of that, to have that and nothing else. Even if only for a moment. If you have that kind of love you can stop during the day, close your eyes and go there in your heart. And the hell with your job or any other human being. Pure medicine.
That ride last night was an emotional roller coaster fueled by music.
The amazing thing is that I was awake at all. 99% of the time the return trip from Maine is made with me snoring and Carol listening to Ray LaMontagne. Carol will be stunned to learn that I even remember listening to this majestic music. I have commissioned a team of NASA scientists to study just what combination of factors helped me to beat the odds last night.
Ciao, baby.
Anyway, I was feeling fine and the lyrics dripped directly into my blood stream. You may think me an overly dramatic idiot. That is your prerogative.
Maggie May - "I suppose I could collect my books and get on back to school. Or steal my daddy's cue and make a living out of playing pool. Or find myself a rock 'n roll band that needs a helping hand." I like the idea of having free and easy choices. Two out of three are kind of out there. I'd love to be in the position to sit back and mull over a variety of strange things I could do with my life.
Bridge Over Troubled Waters - The most amazing "I care about you and I will help you" song ever recorded. Majestic, powerful, emotional. Art Garfunkel is mind blowing. I truly believe he will help me when I'm down. I FEEL it.
Slip Sliding Away - "And I know a father who had a son. He longed to tell him all the reasons for the things he'd done. He came a long way just to explain. he kissed his boy as he lay sleeping, then he turned around and he headed home again." AND: "God only knows, God makes his plan. The information's unavailable to the mortal man. We're workin' our jobs, collect our pay. Believe we're gliding down the highway when in fact we're slip sliding away." BAM a blast of reality right in the face. And right after the magical beauty of Bridge Over Troubled Waters. An emotional roller coaster. Paul Simon, baby. He tells it like it is. We hurt each other and cannot explain ourselves. When we try, we realize there are no words. We fool ourselves into thinking we're doing something with our lives, but we miss the soul deep magic and mystery that is the precious gift of life.
Air That I Breathe - back to pure emotion, baby. The Hollies. "Sometimes all I need is the air that I breathe and to love you." This is what all of us long for. Said so simply which makes it so powerful. Sung beautifully and emotionally. We all want to love and be loved, to lose ourselves in the warmth and meaning and feeling of that, to have that and nothing else. Even if only for a moment. If you have that kind of love you can stop during the day, close your eyes and go there in your heart. And the hell with your job or any other human being. Pure medicine.
That ride last night was an emotional roller coaster fueled by music.
The amazing thing is that I was awake at all. 99% of the time the return trip from Maine is made with me snoring and Carol listening to Ray LaMontagne. Carol will be stunned to learn that I even remember listening to this majestic music. I have commissioned a team of NASA scientists to study just what combination of factors helped me to beat the odds last night.
Ciao, baby.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Santa's Got A Hangover
Santa's got a headache
He's drinking way too much
Christmas is approaching
And whiskey is his crutch
Mrs.Claus is worried
Drunken Santa in his sleigh
Might get lost on Christmas Eve
He might just lose his way
But Rudolph is the bomb, man
He knows just what to do
They'll get it done with time to spare
They'll get your gifts to you
So screw the milk and cookies
Give Santa what he needs
A glass of top shelf whiskey
And maybe a little weed
Next year in December
You'll amaze at what you get
A Cadillac for Christmas
Santa doesn't forget
He's drinking way too much
Christmas is approaching
And whiskey is his crutch
Mrs.Claus is worried
Drunken Santa in his sleigh
Might get lost on Christmas Eve
He might just lose his way
But Rudolph is the bomb, man
He knows just what to do
They'll get it done with time to spare
They'll get your gifts to you
So screw the milk and cookies
Give Santa what he needs
A glass of top shelf whiskey
And maybe a little weed
Next year in December
You'll amaze at what you get
A Cadillac for Christmas
Santa doesn't forget
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