A Workable Philosophy

Matt (Boss): "I shouldn't have to explain this to you. You can't just go around being rude to people."

Tony (Employee): "You can, though. That's the beauty of it. There's no advantage to being nice and thoughtful and caring and having integrity. It's a disadvantage, if anything."

Matt: "Let's see. If you carry on like this, I might have to let you go."

Tony: "No you won't. You won't, that's what I'm saying, 'cause you're a nice bloke. So I'll take advantage of you, like everyone else does here. You'll warn me, I'll ignore it. You'll give me another warning. I'll ignore it. I'll carry on doing what the fuck I want. Eventually, you'll give up, and I'll win. 

The girls here have discovered that you won't even question 'women's problems'. Katie's had three periods this month. She likes Fridays off. You do nothing. She gets away with it 'cause she's an arsehole. So, I thought, right, let's have a bit of that."

Matt: "Why would you wanna to do that? Why wouldn't you just rather get better and be happy?"

Tony: "There's only one thing that'd make me better and happy, and that's Lisa being around, and that can't happen" (Lisa, his wife, died from cancer). So that's why I nearly killed myself straight away."

Matt: "Right, okay, but you didn't kill yourself, did you? So clearly, you know, something made you stop."

Tony: "The look on the dog's face. She was hungry, so I thought I'd better feed her. It gave me time to think 'I should be dead now'. I didn't care. So everything's a bonus. If I become an arsehole, and I do and say what the fuck I want for as long as I want, and then when it all gets too much, I can always kill myself. It's like a superpower."

From Season 1 Episode 1 of After Life, a show (2019-2022) from the mind of Ricky Gervais.

My ultimate goal now, as the grave beckons, is to strip away the lies and reveal my true essence to the world before it's too late. I think I've finally hit on it. Becoming an arsehole, doing and saying what the fuck I want for as long as I want, right to the bitter end, seems an enviable approach. Feels good to have a solid plan.

If you have a dark sense of humor grounded in what you believe to be the truth about life, contrary to what is generally accepted as the truth about life, you will love this show.

By the way, this is my second go-around on this show. I watched it originally when it first came out, I am re-watching it now. My perspective this time is deeper and different than the first time.

The first time I dug the dark humor and the humanity of the show. I'm getting that again, but combined with the contrast of a commitment to being nicer to Carol. A show about the death of a spouse hits harder at the age of 72.

I'm not happy at all, and Carol pays the price because I am a bit surly around the house. I have been focusing hard on being nice to her because she deserves it and the clock is ticking like a fucking time bomb. My depression should not compromise her happiness; that is just fucking wrong.

Many of the scenes this time are twisting my gut, provoking guilt in me, making me think, and firing up my determination to make Carol happy.

She has stuck with me for 48 years. Are you fucking kidding me?

The point is, After Life this time around is inspiring an intensity of sensitivity in my wee brain and my battered heart that is almost suffocating.

Learning in a crucible. That should stick with me.