I Take This Shit Seriously

I am sitting here thinking about my birthday.

It is important to me. Off and on during the day I will think "This is my birthday". I am rock solid aware of it. It means something to me.

A lot of people will say "It's just another day". That is a sad way to approach life. You need reasons to celebrate; you need milestones that make you think, make you evaluate your life. You need to feel good about yourself or at least be moving down the road towards feeling good about yourself.

So I will think about this day. Think about my age. Think about who I am. Think about who I want to be.

New Year's Eve is something that is important to Carol and me. We always stay up to witness the birth of a new year.

Not easy. We struggle to stay awake. But it means something to us. And, of course, I like ringing in my birthday at the very second that it comes around.

I have lots of friends and acquaintances "my age" who do not stay up until midnight. Just another night, they say. I get that. It is definitely an age thing. I can cut them some slack. If you're not out celebrating why torture yourself. If you're tired, go to bed. It just doesn't work for Carol and me.

I was smiling to myself last night. In fact we talked about it. Talked about how things change as you stumble down the road of life.

I got out of work at 6:00. Picked up Chinese food, which Carol had ordered 6 hours earlier. We do this every year. Magically it was ready when I walked in the door. That is not always the case. In the past I have had to wait, but I don't mind. Carol will typically call the order in around noon for a 6:30 pick up. If they get that right within 15 minutes or even half an hour, I am OK with it. They are dealing with hundreds of orders. It is insane.

Besides, if the wait is long enough I'll treat myself to a beer.

Got home. Sat down around 7:00 and pigged out on Chinese food. And watched our own self created marathon of Sex and the City. Just dialed up HBO and let it rip.

Around 10 or 10:30 we switched over to the annual Three Stooges marathon. Finally around 11:40 we switched over to New Year's coverage.

I am a partyer. I like to party. I still would like to ring in the new year and my birthday at a party, but it would have to be someplace close and comfortable. But I would like to do it.

Instead we pig out on Chinese, watch Sex and the City, and the Three Stooges, struggle to stay awake, and, finally - ring in the new year.

I am OK with that. Because at midnight I kiss Carol, wish her a happy new year, tell her I love her, and cry. She kisses me back, and wishes me a happy new year and a happy birthday.

Then I text Keith and Craig and Amanda and wish them a happy new year, and they text me back.

Pretty subdued but it means something to me. Means something to us.

It was a good night.

I will think about last night. I will think about my birthday to day. I will think about me. I will think about my life.

I take this shit seriously.