Thursday, May 17, 2018

Indisputable Truth

Pets are easier to please than humans are.

And a lot easier to love.

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Bonamassa Redux (hope you weren't holding your breath)

Forgot to close the book on this one.

What a night.

Joe Bonamassa is the kind of guitar player who makes you look at your friend and say "Holy Shit - do you believe that?" Over and over again. We were blown away.

Mind blowing, excellent, over the top, heartfelt blues. Christ, I live for that.

We were in a suite. FOR FREE. One of those rooms up above the great unwashed - the riff raff.

My friend works for the liquor commission; the booze distributors pay for these suites and give them away to the deserving elite. Like us.

The suite holds maybe 20 people comfortably. There were only 6 of us in it - me and my friends and one other couple - so we had room to roam, baby.

A dedicated waitress popping in to take drink orders. Bartenders who do not shy away from generous pours. And a bathroom right down the hall.

That is the only way to do the Casino.

I had to exercise restraint and I was tested early. We met at Ryan's apartment; recently divorced, a genuine bachelor pad, clothes on the floor, sparsely furnished. Ryan and David were smoking up some weed like it was going out of style. David is in his mid twenties, Ryan maybe early thirties.

I took one small hit. I am human after all. Eric, my main man, my close friend was behaving quite well since he was driving to and from the Casino and had our lives in his hands.

Eric is 63. I am 64. All night long, David and Ryan kept calling us The Dads. We of course told them to fuck off. Repeatedly.

Had a couple of generous whiskeys at the Casino but all in all, I surprised myself with my self control.

Apparently I am maturing.

Anyway, I had my night and it was a spectacular night. Filled up with what I need to get through this life - good friends, the blues, whiskey, and a touch of insanity.

It was a taste. Been quite a while. I am now on a mission to revive live music in our life in 2018.

Got free concerts in Henniker every Tuesday night.

Got an outdoor all day blues concert in August half an hour down the road. We attended this annual event a few years ago. Gorgeous day. I had a cooler with beer and whiskey as I dug on the blues; Carol was working on the gorgeous bed spread that now adorns our bed. That is who we are. And the coolest thing was that people kept stopping by to tell Carol how beautiful the bedspread was. Great day; great memory.

Found a bar that I like - Area 23 in Concord. They got a lot of music going on. Reconnected with an old friend who plays guitar; we went to see him in Area 23 last week which exposed me to the joint. Apparently, he plays there a lot.

Catch my drift? There is a lot available out there for cheap money. We just gotta get off our asses.

I am feeling good about 2018. Carol and I really need a good year. I want to make the most of the warm weather; most of all I want to see Carol be happy.

I have never been more tuned in to Carol's happiness than I am right now. Probably sad to say, but also probably true of almost all long term marriages. You settle in to routine and that routine is not exciting. You get too comfortable with each other and forget what an amazing thing it is to have someone by your side.

I learned not to cry as easily when Carol went through the worst of all this. Christ, I couldn't break down every time I updated someone on her condition right after surgery. I learned to swallow my tears, which is something I never thought I would be able to do.

Now, I shed a couple of tears almost every day but I do it in private. I want so badly for Carol to get her health back and it hurts so badly to experience her enormous frustration.

Sometimes they are tears of joy. When she comes home and excitedly tells me she is getting a tingle on the right side of her nose, my heart almost leaps out of my chest. I have to turn away and let a tear trickle down my cheek in stealth.

Our life came crashing down last summer when she was diagnosed and the pain continued throughout a long, vicious winter.

But we are here now. Warm weather. Easy living. I got a chance to cut loose a little bit doing something that I love and it was tremendous.

Now I gotta get us both there. I try to make the most of every summer, but this year it is an obsession.

I want to see Carol enjoying herself as much as possible.

Bonamassa gave me some juice; a shot in the arm, something that made me feel more like me. It felt really good.

Now I want that for both of us.

Thursday, May 10, 2018


the number of mornings I have awakened in my life and thought to myself: "Wow - I did not make today any easier on myself last night".

Monday, May 7, 2018

Not Yet, Motherfucker

I can see the finish line from here.

I have no choice but to fake a hamstring injury.

Tuesday, May 1, 2018


Time magazine just came out with their "100 Most Influential People" issue for 2018.

Once again I did not make the list.

They included people like J.J. Watt, Jimmy Kimmel, Roger Federer, Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, Emmanuel Macron and Robert Mueller, to name a few.

You mean to tell me I don't stack up against those stiffs?

I sense a conspiracy.

Not only that, they did include a guy named Giuliano Testa. Testa, for Christ sake.

Dr. Giuliano Testa is an expert in kidney and liver transplantation. He also pioneered the way for uterus transplants. Some women are born without a uterus and up until recently, uterus transplants have not been a viable option.

Dr. Testa put together a groundbreaking clinical trial that included 10 women. As a result, one of the participants recently gave birth to the first baby born via uterus transplant in the U.S.

Big, fucking deal.

Sunday, April 29, 2018

Truth Hurts

The Lincoln was superficial validation.

The Hyundai is reality.

Friday, April 27, 2018


Going to see Joe Bonamassa tonight.

Hampton Beach Casino.

Hate the Casino. Love Bonamassa.

Blues, baby. Rockin', soulful, from the heart, expose the soul blues.

This man is amazing. He plays guitar as if he was Jesus' handpicked entertainer.

Fucking amazing.

Been a long, rough haul over the past year. Been a while since I got a chance to dig some live music, music that makes me who I am; music that keeps me alive.

Going without Carol. A little guilt there, but then again this is not the type of concert she would dig.

We had tickets to see David Crosby at the Tupelo Music Hall last year. Show was on November 18. Carol had her brain surgery on November 2, so it didn't work out. Luckily I was able to sell the tickets for full value on the night of the concert.

That was crazy good and, obviously, a sign that Jesus loves me.

Anyway I was a bit heartbroken about that because Croz is a sensitive troubadour whose solo music is exquisite. I have never seen him solo.

But I was also heartbroken about what Carol was going through and I could not leave her alone.

So I have tonight. I am psyched. Going with a close, much-loved friend of mine and a couple other guys.

I do hate the Casino. This place would have been good when I was a crazy-ass teenager but I am way beyond that. First of all they pack you in. No fucking elbow room. I need room to roam. I need room to breathe in the music and exhale sublime happiness.

Invariably, you gotta wait a fucking hour and a half to get through the men's room. There is always a line.

I am 64. I have zero patience for lines; I believe I have earned the right to not wait in any line anywhere. I believe I have earned the right to comfort and ease.

I am 64. I have to piss a lot.

SO............I will not be drinking beer. In fact I will not be drinking much at all.

Last time me and my friend went to the Casino it was close to a disaster. I brought a sleeve of Jack Daniels nips for the ride to and fro. For me. My friend does not even drink hard stuff.

For some strange reason he did that night. Needless to say he got shitfaced. We both got shitfaced. Neither one of us should have driven that night but we did.

Carol killed me when I got home. Rightfully so.

That will not happen tonight.

I am not over the top crazy about this. It is just something that I need.

Something that I really need.

I think my soul will be somewhat resuscitated tonight. I think my heart will be partially healed.

Can't wait.