Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Tom Petty (and more)

It always comes down to music with me.

Tom Petty's death caught me off guard. For some reason I had an image of him in my mind as a clean cut guy, a well behaved member of the rock community.

And he may have been that. I don't know.

But I have a dark cloud in my mind hovering over all the painful rock 'n roll deaths that have hurt me over the last two years.

Gotta believe the rock 'n roll lifestyle contributed to lives cut short.

Anyway, I wasn't a huge Petty fan. I knew just enough of his music and just enough of his lyrics to be obnoxious in my own unique way.

"Free Falling" and "I Won't Back Down". Two Petty songs that are forever burned into my heart and my soul.

When those songs came out I was working a shitty part time job as a temp. It was one of those bumpy points in my life. I don't remember what the hell was going on.

It was a time I met one of my good friends.


A wild man. I have always been attracted to insanity. I always will be. I am proud of that.

We would blow out of work at lunch and fly down to a corner store. Buy a six pack and fly down the road to a camp site by a lake. Park right on the lake - facing the water.

Wolf our sandwiches down and fucking pound three beers each.

With the radio blasting.

When those two songs came on, especially "I Won't Back Down", we would scream them out at the top of our lungs.

Felt like we were fighting back.

We would then buzz back up the road, stopping once more at the corner store to pick up two 16 ounce beers, which we would pound on the two minute trip back to work.

Fucking insane. And a bit questionable as a strategy when the beer wore off mid afternoon.

But fuck it. We felt good about it. And those two songs meant everything to us.

Musical segue: Recently listening to the Billy Joel channel on Sirius. They have a hot line where people call in and leave a message about what Billy Joel's music meant to them.

He wrote a song called "You're Only Human (Second Wind)". A guy called in and said he served in the military (I don't know where; sorry). Said when he came home from war he had a very hard time adjusting. He was writing a suicide note to his family when "You're Only Human" came on.

It hit him hard and inspired him not to give up. He did not kill himself.

You might say "that didn't happen Joe. It is pure bullshit". I disagree. I believe in the power of music. I believe someone else's words can resonate with your soul and affect your life.

A woman called in and remembered back to when her kid was little and the mom was working a third shift job. Before she headed into work she sang "Lullabye (Good Night My Angel)" to her kid. It connected her with her kid at a difficult time and made the mom feel a little better.

The second story sparked a non-musical memory from my life. At one of many misguided moments in my life I was going to night school studying for an MBA.

When I got home on school nights Keith and Craig would already be in bed and asleep.

I would grab a beer, sit on the floor in their room with my back against the wall and silently cry.

Anyway, music is everything. It is a powerful and a mystical force.

It can be a tool. Get smart and use it to regain your sense of humanity whenever you are feeling beat down.

Requiescat in pace Tom Petty.

I Am Afraid

I am just trying to make it to the promised land with my very special wife by my side.

Not talking about heaven or any other version of an afterlife.

Just looking for a little peace. A sense of accomplishment. A satisfaction related to the decades we have spent on this earth and the decades we have spent together.

Looking for some meaning. Some explanation.

A soul deep, earth shattering enlightenment revealing the justification for my birth and my life.

Life is on the attack high, hot and hard. Slinging knives at us, forcing us to sidestep and renegotiate.

Hard to settle into any sense of peace or love or satisfaction or meaning when life becomes so harsh.

The challenge is that this is precisely the time that that level of understanding is required.

I have an idea in my head of what the promised land would feel like for me.

I am not feeling it yet.

And I am afraid.

A Blunt Assessment

If you are still defending and supporting trump at this point in time, you are a fucking moron.

The man is the scum of the earth. He is not only hurting this country relative to the rest of the world and raising the possibility of war to dangerous levels, he is also hurting the lives of "average" Americans.

Given the chance, he will rob us of health care, allow our premiums to go sky high, ruin us financially with his joke of a tax plan, and on and on and on.

When the hell are you going to wake up?

This man does not care about working people. He does not even know we exist.

And yet working people, at least those who are easily duped by thinly transparent lies and blatantly false promises, are the very people who elected this jerk off.

The same people who still show up at his ego-stroking rallies and cheer to the rallying lie of "promises made, promises kept". Wearing their ridiculous MAGA hats like the blind sheep that they are.


How stupid, how gullible can you be?

What is even worse is the wimpy response of democratic congressmen.

They have been handed the keys to the kingdom by president moron and his spineless republican sycophants and they do nothing.

When republicans are forced into a corner, they lie, they fight, they stab you in the back, kick you in the balls and spit on you when you are down.

democrats form drum circles.

Here is our government in a nutshell:

democrats have no balls and republicans are spineless and amoral.

You think these people are going to look out for you? They are going to look out for themselves and nobody else.

In some ways democrats disgust me more than republicans because they come across as if they actually care about the working poor. Some of them actually sound sincere.

republicans make it obvious they only care about the rich and only about the rich. They don't even try to hide it.

So there you go.

Ball-less democrats, spineless republicans.

And of course, a festering turd of a president.

Good luck with your life.

A Bold Statement

If you are not using Charmin Ultra Strong toilet paper, don't ever expect me to shake your hand.

Thursday, October 12, 2017

America Rocks. Americans Suck.

This country is filled with stupid, hateful, violence prone people.

trump is president. That is all the proof you need.

Think about it. 62.9 million people voted for trump. 62.9 million. I would have been disgusted if only 62 people voted for trump.

There are 326 million people in this country. That means that 19% of this country supported trump.

Actually the number is much higher because only a small percentage of registered voters actually vote. So between the assholes who didn't vote and the assholes who don't vote, the number of people who support trump is staggering.

And frightening.

Because trump spent almost a year and a half sliming around this country effectively saying "I am stupid and uninformed, I am a racist, I am a misogynist, I am xenophobic - vote for me."

And they did.

These are the people who piss on NFL players who don't stand for the anthem. People who think that mindlessly saluting the flag, or standing for the anthem makes them patriotic.

It doesn't. It makes them stupid.

The go to argument for these scum is the "Millions have fought and died for this country. They would be disgusted to see you kneeling during the anthem. You are disrespecting them"

They use the argument because it is an emotional topic and hard to argue against. They also use it because they are stupid.

The truth: Millions fought and died so you can kneel during the anthem. They fought and died to protect freedom of speech, among many other amazing rights that we have in this country.

These are the same people who go out and buy more guns after a mass murder, like Vegas.

People who blindly fallback on the second amendment as if Jesus Christ himself said "Go forth and multiply your weapons."

A deranged man kills 58 people in ten minutes, partly because he used "bump stocks", and the sales of bump stocks increases after the shooting.

You cannot defend the "right" to own bump stocks, or semi-automatic weapons, or any other military style weapon.

You don't need them. So fuck you.

Australia experienced the Port Arthur Massacre in 1996. A gunman killed 35 people at a tourist attraction.

As a partial response to that, the Australian government initiated a gun buy back program, offering to compensate gun owners at market prices. More than 650,000 guns were handed in, reducing gun ownership by about one fifth.

There are over 300 million guns owned in the United States. There are more fucking guns than there are citizens.

Think about the sheer stupidity of that.

The United States should initiate a buy back program for military style weapons and devices.

You would think gun owners would go for that. It would give them more money to buy speed, porn and Spam.

Of course this is just fanciful musing on my part. It could never happen in America.

Because congressman don't have the balls to stand up to the NRA, and gun owners would cower in dark corners, hugging and caressing their semi-automatic weapons mumbling repeatedly "my 2nd amendment rights".

This country is filled with stupid, hateful people.

More proof: 20 children were massacred in the Sandy Hook Elementary School and there was no change to gun laws. That was all the proof I needed that there is no collective conscience in this country.

That is very sad, and dangerous.

America has become a stupid country presided over by a stupid president. A dangerously stupid president.

Can it get any worse than that?


Because the only time you can fix stupid is when a stupid person expresses a desire to get smarter.

The stupid people in this country revel in their stupidity. How the hell else can you explain the existence of a TV network called WE TV?

If you are not familiar with it, check out the lineup. It will make you puke.

Please don't give me that "if you hate this country so much you can leave" bullshit.

I love this country. I love the freedoms this country makes available to me. I appreciate that, and I appreciate those who serve in the military and respect those who have sacrificed their lives so my life can be so comfortable.

What I hate is what Americans have done with the freedoms they enjoy.

Ultimately it feels like a commentary on human nature. Is this what happens when you give human beings the freedom to become who they want to be?

That thought is a frightening one.

This country has millions and millions of stupid, uninformed, racist, violent, misogynistic, xenophobic, unstable cretins.

And it is getting worse.

There is no hope for this country.

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

A Question (Maybe An Answer)

"Could it be that this is all there is?
 Could it be there's nothing more at all?
 Save some time to dream,
'Cause your dream could save us all"

"Save Some Time To Dream", John Mellencamp

Fascinating Word

Anhedonia: Loss of the capacity to experience pleasure. The inability to gain pleasure from normally pleasurable experiences. Anhedonia is a core clinical feature of depression, schizophrenia, and some other mental illnesses.