What Would You Do?

You're watching a television series, one you would not normally watch.

As an experiment. The characters are quirky and vulnerable and achingly sensitive. Definitely not mainstream. And totally open about it. You typically prefer tough characters who relish violent revenge.

But right now you are in a strange place in your head. Unsure. Self-questioning. A bit shaky.

And you practically fall out of your chair as you realize that maybe these characters are a reflection of who you really are. Maybe there's a message here. A sign. A prophecy. 

It hits you with skull shattering force that maybe your lifetime act of pretending to be tough and in control has been a horrible mistake. A massive miscalculation that has destroyed your self-confidence (ironically) and beat the shit out of your liver. You are a naturally sensitive, deeply sensitive, overwhelmingly empathetic guy. Maybe if you had worn your vulnerability on your sleeve, you would have lived a more satisfying, fulfilling, and honest life. You might have been happy.

This thought hits you so hard it leaves you shaking in the recliner. 

What would you do?

Can you make that change? Now? This far down the road, this many lies in?

If you do, you might find peace. If you don't, you will shrivel up and die. Those are the choices. And here you are, barely two years away from the average life expectancy of one such as you. How strong are you? How honest are you? How frightened are you?

What would you do?