Heaven Is Closed

I've been losing my mind lately. Have you noticed?

Anyway...........................

"Heaven is closed and hell's overcrowded, so I think I'll just stay where I am."

Heaven is Closed, by Willie Nelson

I have decided that this has to be my philosophy. It's a good one.

If I died, it would solve all my problems, but I got a lot of work to do. Shit, man - if I died right now, funeral homes would reject my body, crematoriums would refuse to light the flame.........because I don't pass the smell test. I haven't lived my life yet.

The rule is that the corpses of people who have pissed their life away get tossed into the woods. Woodland creatures gotta eat too, you know.

Hell might be fun when slots open up - I would definitely get along with the people I meet there. And I hate being cold. I'd consider that as a destination. Not sure about heaven, though. I mean on the surface of things you might think I could slither into heaven, but you don't know me as well as you think you do.

God would have to be a pretty forgiving dude to overlook some of my transgressions. But he should be forgiving - he has created an awful lot of pain in the world. He's not as innocent as his press releases make you think.

I just read a book where the people in a small, rural town, on one special day a year, offer up their sins to God for judgement. But before he smites them down, they also point out the nasty things he has allowed to happen, or maybe even made happen. Then they call it a wash and go on about their business. That's a pretty realistic approach.

Heaven is closed and hell's overcrowded, so I think I'll just stay where I am. I'm not in a bad place. Not really, despite all my whining. 

If I hunker down and keep on punching, I might actually win. I'm working two menial part-time jobs right now, that reward me with a pay level of a sixteen year old. That sucks and it rips my mind to shreds. But if I look at it another way, I'm doing what I have to do to keep Carol in diamonds. It's a temporary situation until I find my pot of gold. It's coming. I know it's coming.

I am still punching, still thrashing about, still chasing a dream that I haven't precisely defined (?).

Cake or death? Sorry, couldn't resist. Eddie Izzard fans understand.

Death? No. Not yet.

I think I'll just stay where I am.