I get emails twice a week from James Clear.
At the end he asks a question designed to motivate you, to make you think, to wake you up, to inspire you.
Here's a beauty:
"People will tell stories about you at your funeral. What chapter are you writing today?"
Chew on that for a while.
Can you honestly use that phrase to describe a moment in your life in an honest and meaningful way?
I am not talking about the time you switched from Jimmy Chen's Pizza Joint to Alberto Calamari's Pizza Experience. Which, of course, was undoubtedly the right thing to do.
Unless of course that was the best thing you ever did. If so, your life is small and your imminent exit from this planet will not leave a void.
I am fascinated by phrases. And how we over use them and trivialize them.
"Just like that." A nuclear phrase, to my mind. I am obsessed with those words. He changed his life just like that. He decided to stop drinking just like that. He dramatically changed his personality just like that.
Can you do that? Is it real?
Could you put the breaks on like Fred Flinstone in his prehistoric car and just change direction?
Imagine sitting in your recliner on a Tuesday night, deciding you hate your fucking life, deciding to drastically change it - just like that - and following through on Wednesday. With intensity and focus.
Holy shit. That would taste better than Hostess Cupcakes.
The best thing I ever did. That should be something momentous. Life changing. Life improving. An epiphany followed up by action.
People do it. "A life unexamined.........." People do examine their lives. They do make changes. Trying to stop the negative momentum that has carried you to the gates of hell is the hard part.
Inertia, baby.
You keep coming home to the spouse you want to kill. You get up every day and go to the job that strips you of your dignity. You drive the cheap car you can afford and dream about the nice cars other people drive. You vacation in a cheap motel two towns over while others fly to Cannes.
Your underwear is stretched out, frayed, and faded and you don't even care. It's not like you'll be in any interesting situation where stylish underwear will earn you any brownie points.
Incremental change. It is a good philosophy. It's doable. Keep banging away, taking bite-sized chunks, relentlessly moving forward until the water slide dumps you smack dab into the middle of your miraculous destiny.
But what about the best thing I ever did? Just like that?
Boom. That's the kind of change that is required to supercharge your brain and inspire you to "make the most of your life."
Can you do that? Is it real?
"Having hope means that one will not give in to overwhelming anxiety, a defeatist attitude, or depression in the face of difficult challenges or setbacks. Hope is more than the sunny view that everything will turn out all right; it is believing you have the will and the way to accomplish your goals."
Daniel Goleman
From Merriam-Webster:
"According to Greek mythology, Procrustes was a robber who killed his victims in a most cruel and unusual way. He made them lie on an iron bed and would force them to fit the bed by cutting off the parts that hung off the ends or by stretching those people who were too short."
Shemekia Copeland has a song titled "I Always Get My Man."
She sings: "Gonna frisk you, baby - see if you're packing heat, take you to my courtroom down the street, accuse you of love in the first degree, and won't turn you loose until your prints are all on me."
The chorus says: "Get you with my hugging and my kisses too, there won't be no escaping when I get my hands on you, when I finally get you I ain't gonna stop, I'll keep right on loving until the neighbors call the cops."
I believe her.
There is a classic blues song titled "I'm Ready", written by Wiile Dixon and first recorded by Muddy Waters. Here's a taste of the lyrics.
First the macho buildup: "I got an axe handle pistol on a graveyard frame, that shoot tombstone bullets, wearin' balls and chain, I'm drinkin' TNT, I'm smoking dynamite, I hope some screwball start a fight, 'cause I'm ready, ready as anybody can be, I'm ready for you, I hope you're ready for me."
Holy shit, man - is that over the top or what?
Now the romantic stuff:
"All you pretty little chicks with your pretty little hair, I know you feels like I ain't nowhere, but stop what you're doin' baby - come over here, I'll prove to you baby that I ain't no square, because I'm ready, ready as anybody can be, now I'm ready for you, I hope you're ready for me."
I don't believe him.
Because men are all about bluff & bluster. The Testosterone Wars. Always trying to one-up the next guy, often in blatant defiance of common logic.
Women are mystical, magical creatures. They are not even of the same species. Women are their own species, existing in a world that men cannot understand.
Men pretend to be tough.
Women are tough.
Go get him, Shemekia.
I received a Certificate of Merit & Appreciation when I finished radiation therapy.
It says, in part: "Joseph Testa has completed the prescribed course of radiation therapy with the highest degree of courage, determination and good nature."
When the Wizard of Oz gave the Cowardly Lion his courage he said, in part: "For meritorius conduct, extraordinary valor, and conspicuous bravery against wicked witches, I award you the Triple Cross. You are now a member of the Legion of Courage."
I am proud to be in the company of the Cowardly Lion in the Legion of Courage.
