I Am Older Now.....................

 "I am older now, I have more than what I wanted, but I wish that I had started long before I did.

And there's so much time to make up everywhere you turn, time we have wasted on the way, so much water moving underneath the bridge, let the water come and carry us away.

Look round you now, you must go for what you wanted, look at all my friends who did and got what they deserved.

So much love to make up everywhere you turn, love we have wasted on the way, so much water moving underneath the bridge, let the water come and carry us away."

From Wasted on the Way, by Graham Nash

Electric jolts of life, of change - have been rocking me for 6 and 1/2 months now. This is good. I could not avoid change if I wanted to. It's been like trying to take a nap in the back yard on a hot August day, while the neighbor intermittingly plays Black Sabbath, breaks for lunch, then Metallica, runs to the store, then Foo Fighters, studies the bible, then Led Zeppelin.

For Christ sake, my complacency has been shattered......................and circumstance is resurrecting my soul.

It has been relentless and consistent. Including cycle of life stuff - the birth of my grandson, the death of my cousin. It doesn't get any more real than that.

Prodding and pushing me while I try to make up for this and to atone for that. Redirecting me from the senseless road I have been on for decades, onto the road, my road, a road to deliver my soul to a peaceful place. The road that was laid out for me at birth, which I quickly veered off of like a drunk driver asleep at the wheel.

I feel very good. I embrace change enthusiastically because I have hungered for it over a lifetime. 

All I need now is enough time to make up for wasted time.