March 22, 2024

A spectacular day. My grandson was born.

Jackson Joseph Testa.

Why have I waited so long to talk about it? Because of how fucked up the world is today. As if going public with this magic was the wrong thing to do.

I can no longer keep this love and pride to myself.

He is a miracle. He is beautiful, precious, a unique and brand new human being who is relying on his parents to protect and inspire and teach him until he is capable of living his own life.

He's got the right parents. My son Craig, my daughter-in-law Amanda. Two loving and sensitive people. Two intelligent human beings with fine-tuned senses of humor. Two people who are tough enough to handle the world and tough enough to handle taking care of a precious new life.

He is 4 and 1/2 weeks old. I am 70 years old. This gives me a new and unexpected perspective.

Life is very different now. My life has been rocked and rejuvenated by Jackson's life.

When I hold him in my arms my heart overflows with the purest of love and my soul soars. I feel so alive.

I reflect on what I have done with my life and wonder what Jackson will do with his. What will his personality be like, what will he be into, will he be an athlete or a musician or both? Will he be an academic or a race car driver? What will his sense of humor be like? Will he regard me with respect and appreciation? Will he have the guts to be honest with me about who I am, what I say, what I do? Call me out on my bullshit? I believe we will have an honest and open and natural relationship.

Here is what I think. First of all I think he will have a great sense of humor, because Craig and Amanda are naturally funny - it's in his DNA. I think he will be smart. I think he will be his own man. I think he will be interesting, never, ever boring. I think he will take charge of his life and do what he wants with it. He doesn't have to be a famous athlete or a successful musician or any other fantasy you can name - but he will live his own life, and that is the ultimate success for any human.

I think he will make people around him happy. I think people will want to be around him.

I think he will love me, but not as much as I love him. That's the way it works. He needs 70 years under his belt to feel love for me the way I feel it for him. That's ok. That's natural. His love will continue to make my soul soar forever.

Welcome to the world, Jackson. Welcome to your parents, you are lucky to have them.

I love you with all the love I have in me. A love that is ferocious and real and honest and intense, amplified through 70 years of life.

I love you Jackson.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

May you never doubt that.