Thursday, April 28, 2016

Exercise is Bad For You

Exercise is bad for you.

Especially when you are trying to get things done.

Let me break it down for you.

I haven't stopped in here for a while. You probably assumed I had a meltdown, or maybe The Lovely Carol had me committed to an old tymey asylum, complete with Nurse Ratched type minders, electro-shock therapy and straight jackets.

Nope. I've been exercising. Exercising like a fiend.

Been about two months now, hammering away almost every chance I get. And I am proud to say I have lost 1/4 of an ounce.

I say almost because I am only human. There are times when I sleep late or come home to whiskey, but for the most part I have been a goddamn fanatic.

If I am due in to work at 10:00, I get up at 6:00, sip some tea, read a bit, then jump on the exercise bike around 8:00, take a shower and blow out the door at 9:15.

If I get out of work at 4:30, I have on occasion jumped straight into the exercise routine as soon as I get home. I deserve a medal for this one. You know how hard it is to exercise when you get home from work. Especially for an old guy like me who spends his day on his feet and lifting a fair share of cases of booze.

My exercise regimen is amusing but age specific.

First I do 85 sit ups, you know, girly sit ups with knees bent. Then I do 85 phony baloney push ups, standing up against the counter and pushing off. I do the push ups this way because I had a hernia operation 26 years ago that left me unable to do traditional pull ups or sit ups. Also a pinched nerve in my neck a few years ago that impedes normal strength moves.

Perhaps I should look in to that.

Then I do 25 one arm curls with 12.5 pounds on the bar.

Then I jump on the exercise bike for 20 minutes and go at it pretty hard.

You may laugh but this routine works for me.

Here is the catch. When I am not exercising, I would normally be writing at 8:00 a.m., or at 5:15 p.m. when I get home.

If I exercise in the morning I have no time to write; if I exercise at night I get lazy.

Truly driven people find the time to get everything done during the day, somehow, someway, no matter what the schedule, no matter what they have to accomplish.

I know I am making excuses. I could find the time to write if I truly pushed myself.

Recently I have been unable to do that.

Still, even though I haven't lost the 100 pounds that I would like to, I feel good about my heart and lungs and the fact that I am slowing down the flabbification process that makes old people look like walruses.

But writing is my soul. I must tend to business.

I'll figure it all out.

Nice talking to you. I gotta believe somebody out there, at least one person, cares about me and what I am doing.

I will write something of depth soon.

Until then...........happy trails.

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