Recently bought a print of a road running through Monument Valley in Arizona. Had it mounted, hung it on the wall opposite my recliner.
I love the desert even though I have never been there. I wanted to mount that love on the wall where I could look at it every day.
This picture really gets to me; it brings me peace.......................and longing.
It hit me yesterday. I was looking at it and my body settled into this place of wistfulness.
I wanted to be on that road. I wanted to drive until I found a little town with a broken down bar with warped floors, where I would get hired on tending bar. A place where the men are hard, straight shooters, and the women are tough and sexy in an over the hill kind of way. A place where I could pour myself a shot to chug with my favorite customers.
A place where I could make just enough money to survive in my little shack on the desert.
Truthfully, I am tired of fighting. I want what I want. Which I will probably never have.
Even though I have entered a new phase, I would prefer to settle into something simple, something that fits comfortably.
Do not get me wrong. I am happy with the new job. Very happy with it. Even though I was tortured last night for two solid hours.
Tickets for the new season went on sale to the public for the first time. The Capitol Center does it right - they have a barbecue that is open to the public, beer and wine for sale, and people can order tickets for the shows they want to attend.
There are typically three of us in the box office. Last night there were four more people set up in the lobby to sell tickets also. That's how crazy busy it was.
I got there at 4:30. People were already milling about the lobby even though the sale didn't start until 6:00.
It was Day Five for me on the job and there were a lot of customer questions I just could not answer. Each time I had to flag down the boss man - "LORNE!!!!!!!!!!" - who was running around like a maniac trying to stay on top of things.
I hate being in that position - it's like a little kid crying for mommy. But there was no way around it.
It was a rough night but I survived it. Not rough like working in a warehouse or being a roofer, those are real jobs, but still...rough. And I still like the job. Got an internal vibe that this is going to work out beautifully.
My point is that everybody has a desert print in their life. Something or somewhere that, if they could make it part of their life, would bring them peace.
Or maybe we are all just dreamers. Always believing that a change to something or somewhere would make our lives perfect.
I have noticed that sometimes I look at the picture and it brings me peace. Sometimes I look at it and it makes me long for that broken down bar.
You gotta fight to survive. That is the reality for most of us. And we all will be fighting right up until the very end.
But if a little dreaming brings you momentary peace, even if it is tinged with longing or regret - what is the harm in that?