And Just Like That

I intended to jump in here yesterday and gloat about the fact that I scored David Crosby concert tickets on Friday night.

Had to talk Carol into it because she experiences physical pain when we spend any more than $1.25 for anything that is not budget related, and these tickets cost us $160. But I was determined. I missed him earlier this summer at another small venue only an hour away from me and it broke my heart when I found out about it.

The man is a survivor. His life story is legendary. His singing is exquisite. His song writing is emotional, political, meaningful and inspirational.

We have seats in the front row of the balcony, which means we will be looking down on him when it should be the other way around. Still, it will be a spectacular night.

We saw Crosby, Stills and Nash a few years ago, outdoors on a beautiful summer night, and their singing brought tears to my eyes.

Croz is 75 years old and still bringing it, baby.

That news was eclipsed by a phone call yesterday afternoon.

Carol has been having hearing issues in one ear, and balance issues when walking. She kind of walks like a drunk, which she may have learned from me.

She had an MRI yesterday morning, and in the afternoon she was called by the MRI interpreter ( my description - I am not sure he was a doctor). They found a tumor behind her ear and it has gotta go.

We have a consultation on Tuesday, then they will get her in the hospital ASAP for a two day stay.

It was heavily stressed that this is most likely not as frightening as it sounds. That it is not entrenched in the brain, but rather pressing up against it. So that is good.

Still, we cannot help but be nervous.

And just like that our lives are changed.

We have had a pretty remarkable run. Been through some shit, had lots of ups, some downs, but all in all life has been relatively gentle with us.

Until last summer. Apparently now, August is officially the month of bad news. I was diagnosed with melanoma last August, Carol with the tumor this month. In addition I am dealing with the fractured hip thing.

So there you have it. You can't help but wonder exactly what stage you are in in your life. We are only 63 and the shit has begun.

But not anywhere near as bad as it could be. So there is that.

I don't think I handled the cancer thing as well as I should have. I am an emotional guy and it got me down.

Carol is strong and upbeat about the tumor and that is a very good thing. We will get through it together and come out the other side with a fresh and exciting appreciation for the good things we do have in our life.

Five I can name right off the top of my head - Keith, Emily, Craig, Karen and Eddie.

Fucking amazing human beings.

I am going to try and ride the wave of Carol's strength and learn from it. Her situation is much more frightening than mine was and she is standing tall.

You never really do know what life is going to throw at you. At the stage we are in and beyond, there is a higher probability that there will be more negative shit.

All we can do is try to learn from it on a personal level. Learn how to react, learn how to maintain positivity, learn how to pay deep attention to the sensitive and meaningful things and people in life every fucking second of every fucking day.

Speaking for myself I know I will fall short of these intentions on a regular basis. I am just built that way. A bit on the dark side, a lot on the emotional (interpreted as not rational) side.

We shall see what transpires.

I can, however, guarantee you that come November and David Crosby, we will sit in amazement at the beauty of this man's soul and his ability to survive life's evil side.

I hope we bring our own personal beauty and survivorship to that night as well.