I Feel Cheated

The summer that wasn't. So far, anyway.

Way too many cold nights and cold mornings that feel more like fall then summer.

Shouldn't that be illegal?

I know, you are saying "But Joe - I love the cold nights - it is good sleeping weather". I'm gonna go easy on you and give you that one. It is a better sleep when you can draw a sheet up under your chin in easy contentment. Sweating like a pig is not conducive to peaceful sleep.

BUT - everybody waits for summer. They pray for it, anticipate it, think about it and plan for it. It finally rolls around and you end up actually being cold 50% of the time.

What the fuck is that? Somebody is gonna have to pay.

For most people summer is the only thing to justify being alive. Everything else is torture. I can see morticians licking their chops even as I speak.

I must be getting softer because I'm telling myself September will be summer-like. I mean real summer. That is probably a safe bet; summer has been starting later and hanging around longer.

It fucking better be summer-like - I need warmth like a drunkard needs a drink.

Been an off balance summer karma-wise as well. Fractured hip, dead Lincoln, my laptop just died and my tablet is dying a slow death.

And nobody has offered me that 5 million bucks I feel I deserve. Christ, I've been around long enough. Shouldn't some wealthy benefactor just hand me the fortune I need to live out my life in dignity?

Every time I leave the house I keep my eyes open for bags of money by the side of the road. I never find them.

This is distressing because that approach represents the sum total of my retirement strategy.

Got me thinking about karma. What have I done to deserve this punishment? What could it possibly be?

Everybody knows I am a good boy. Avid church goer, teetotaler, anti-drug advocate, health nut, all around sweetheart, and a volunteer with Meals on Wheels, the Boy Scouts and three local food pantries.

The Pope calls me for advice.

After peeling back a couple of layers of self delusion I began to take a look at who I really am; the things I have done, the evil thoughts I have thunk.

Oh shit - so that is what's going on this summer.

The hell with it. Whadddya gonna do?

There was a line from "Penny Dreadful" that I really embraced; perked right up when I heard it.

"The best way to be free of regret is to embrace your sins".

I cannot open my arms wide enough.