Wednesday, April 4, 2018

Killing Optimism

Some days you just wake up depressed.

Nothing you can do about it and you know you are not gonna come out of it.

What to do?

Wallow in it. Indulge the feeling.

You don't owe anybody anything.

First of all, dial up The Counting Crows. "August and Everything After". Every song on that album will complement your despair.

Except maybe "Mr. Jones". That one might get you up dancing and smiling and that's OK. You are allowed to feel good in an empty-hearted way, you can smile a little at the lyrics without losing your perspective.

Sink down in your recliner and listen to the album all the way through. Smoke a joint, sip a little whiskey, down a shot of tequila. Whatever destructive urge feeds the monster.

When the album ends you should be loosened up and ready for the main attraction, the darkest of the dark.

"Requiem for a Dream".

The darkest, most hopeless movie ever made.

You will need another shot of whiskey or tequila or both to brace yourself for this baby. Keep the bottle by your side.

Then dive in.

Your raw emotions are about to get dangerous; you will be slapped around, abused, shocked, disgusted and destroyed.

Just what the doctor ordered.

This movie will make your life seem like a cake walk by way of comparison, but that is not the point.

The point is to make yourself one with the characters, to feel their pain and hopelessness and loss of control and despair just as they feel it. Let it knife into your gut and your soul and kill any last, desperate impulse for optimism you might have.

When the movie ends you will be drained. You might have to take a nap. Or drink yourself into oblivion. Whatever you need to finish this day off in style.

And prepare yourself for tomorrow. When you drag your ass in to work and somebody asks "How's it going?"

And you reply "Not bad at all."

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