Unexpectedly, unpredictably, inexplicably, he was given a crystal clear glimpse into the future.
He saw it. He saw it in the people around him in the building. He felt it in his broken heart and dying soul. He heard it in words meant to soothe; words that sliced his heart open and mutilated his soul
It was horrifying.
Darkness. A complete and devastating lack of dignity. No money. The impossibility of pride. Soul-suffocating surrender to everything he despised about life.
He was crushed.
Back at home there was no choice but to pursue numbness. He did this with extreme prejudice.
He also formulated two trains of thought.
One, probably delusional, born of desperation - a commitment to fight back. To pursue dignity. Against all odds. Vegas handicappers prediction for success - a million to one.
But gambling is fun, something that has been sorely missing for decades. Why not go for it?
The other, more realistic - a realization that if things remain on the current track, at some point a quick exit will be required. It would become inevitable.
Inevitable and achievable.
Two trains of thought, same eventual outcome, one path comforting, one path devastating.
Options become severely limited over time; reality inevitably becomes crystal clear. Viciously so.
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