Nobody Glows (or do they?)

Walking around Monday morning feeling happy.

Even though I had to go to work. Very strange.

Of course I was astonished and had to take a minute to analyze the origin.

I traced it back to Easter. Specifically Easter dinner.

I can hear you now. Jesus Christ, Joe - must I endure another "had the family over for dinner and it was magnificent" rant?

'Fraid so.

This felt different. Maybe because Carol's health issues have settled into a slow moving, emotional numbness. Our life is a bit strange. A bit below a happiness level.

Thanksgiving came around less than a month after her brain surgery; Christmas followed closely on its heels. Followed by the winter slog.

Carol's progress has been slow. She still maintains a fierce warrior spirit and because of that I know she will emerge victorious. But she has expressed her frustration to me many times and I don't blame her. This has been so hard on her.

We fight our way through a vicious winter and our emotions, months go by with little to be happy about (except the magnificent anniversary dinner that Eddie, Keith and Craig put together), and then Keith, Craig, Eddie and Carolina arrive for Easter dinner.

Boom. Instantaneous happiness.

Every visit is good, but some are better than others because they are subject to the vagaries of what it means to be human.

Sunday just flowed. So comfortable, so enjoyable.

Sometimes I experience life in miniature movie scenes in my head. Eddie and Carolina left first. When Keith and Craig got ready to leave, Craig was standing by the French doors and Keith was in between me and Craig.

It was semi dark, the porch lights were on behind Craig. I looked at these two men and the moment was framed in my mind. And the two words that blow me away every time, invaded my thoughts.

My sons.

That's all it takes to lift me up.

I had a happiness hangover on Monday morning. That sweet delicious break from the day to day of what Carol is going through was enough to carry me into the next day.

I felt good. I know Carol did too. We talked about it, how enjoyable Easter dinner was.

That's what family is all about.

If family can lift you above whatever hard thing you have to deal with, that is powerful.

That is all you need.