I eat boring cereal.
My favorites are Corn Chex, Rice Chex, Wheat Chex, Corn Flakes, and Wheaties. I love to let Wheaties soak in milk for a few minutes until they get soggy. Sogginess creates the perfect balance between taste and texture.
I don't always eat cereal for breakfast. I love English muffins, toast, corn muffins, omelets, BACON!!!!!!!, but when I go on a cereal binge I fall back upon the old favorites. Right now I am chowing cereal as part of the Joe Reclamation Project.
I had a bowl of Grape-Nuts this morning. Grape-Nuts! Wanna know where that inspiration came from? The main character in the book I just read ate Grape-Nuts regularly.
What the hell is in Grape-Nuts?
How about whole-grain wheat flour, malted barley flour, salt and dried yeast. That's it. No addded sugar. It is actually one of the healthiest cereals you can find.
Not exactly exciting though.
I eat boring cereal to counteract my vibrant personality. Many people describe me as scintillating.
If I ate Cap'n Crunch or Lucky Charms it would push me way over the top. It would be like Elton John walking into a room filled with Mormons. People would be blinded by my brilliance.
Don't get me wrong. I have eaten my share of Cocoa Pebbles, Frosted Flakes, Trix, and Froot Loops and loved them all. Shit, a couple of months ago I bought a box of Chocolate Life and chowed it with no remorse.
But generally as a mature adult, and with consideration for the health and well-being of others, I stick to the boring stuff.
Just so you know, for my own peace of mind as I wolf down a bowl of soggy Wheaties, I am usually wearing a Nudie's rhinestone suit and a Fedora.
Would you expect anything less?
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