Maybe, Just Maybe

Usually I slide ass down into the new year.

Kicking and screaming because I have accomplished nothing and expect to continue more of the same.

Birthday #72 is motivating me; Jackson is motivating me.....this/next year.

I believe I can get something done. Something to fatten my wallet and lessen my fears, something to bolster my ego, something to get me across the tipping point from depressed to happy.

Something to heal and release my soul to the world, which would be an explosion of enormous impact. My soul has never seen the light of day.

But really, we all got to get our shit together. The world becomes increasingly more depressing, dangerous, violent, vicious every second of every day, especially in this country.

All of these things are out of our control.

But we have family, we have friends. They are our security blanket. We got to cling to them, spend time with them, appreciate them for who they are - human beings who would never hurt us, people who defend us, people who love us. You cannot get that any other way or any other place.

My brain is being pried open through therapy and meditation and I am realizing that love for and from my family is powerful stuff. Life affirming. I am being swept into 2026 on a wave of gratitude for this amazing family, my family.

I am not asking that all people show a little love for each other. We are not evolved enough for that. In fact I believe we are regressing, cultivating more anger, jealousy and hatred daily.

Fucking sucks. Humans are petty and stupid. Shortsighted. We are all in the same boat, those of us without financial independence, we all share the same burdens so we should all be brothers and sisters. But that has never been the way and never will be the way.

I'm just riffing here, layering my emotions, hopes and dreams on you, for what that's worth. My life certainly does not justify me giving advice. But I do think if people focus more on the bond of family in these sad and troubling times, maybe it can soften the jagged edges the world wields as weapons. Maybe it will soften the focus, or sharpen the perspective a bit.

You have to find a way to be happy or you might as well be dead.

I have no clue, really. I am not 100% convinced that I can pull this off.

But it feels good thinking that maybe I can.