We All Strut

Just ran out to the store to pick up good stuff to barbecue tonight.

Today is The Bonus Day. Day Five away from work. The bonus day always feels the best. Today is no exception. I am somewhat lighthearted.

On the return trip I was delighted to observe the turkey family crossing the road. Two adults - I assume Mama and Papa - and 5 or 6 itty bitty turkeys. Brought traffic to a standstill on a busy 50 mph road.

I love that. 

We go about killing the animals around us with impunity. I have seen way too many dead deer by the side of the road this year. Way too many. I saw a fucking fawn by the side of the road recently. A tiny, helpless, beautiful animal. Humans suck.

However, the turkey family strutted across that road without even looking. You might say with impunity. Like they own the joint.

Came out of the woods to my left, crossed two lanes and slipped into the woods on my right. As two lanes of traffic sat and watched. I felt like applauding. I did smile.

But that's not why I am here today.

I strutted into the store as much like a peacock as an out of shape 67 year old man can. I defintely stand more erect and put a bit of a swagger into my strides when I'm in public. I have to. I'm getting older. I am fighting for dignity every time I leave the house.

Youth does not require swagger. Insouciance is its own swagger. Although there are some who push it unnecessarily and wind up coming across like Vinnie Barbarino. 

We all strut. There were mostly distressed humans in the store when I was there. Distressed as in distressed furniture. For some reason I was hyperaware of my own act so I closely observed the other elders around me.

They were doing the same thing. Projecting calm. Confidence. Dignity. Demanding respect. Actors all.

Although if you have been around long enough you deserve much respect. Just survivng 6, 7, 8 or 9 decades is an accomplishment deserving of the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

If you judge me solely on the basis of my (current) lack of physical conditioning you are a shallow asshole. There's more to me than meets the eye. I have lived a life, worked jobs, suffered setbacks, celebrated triumphs, been confused and been assured. Been married 43 years. Been a father to two convicted felons. And I am not done.

If I feel like strutting I will strut. And try to catch the eye of the other weathered humans around me.

So we can exchange knowing smiles.