Had a most immaculate dream yesterday morning. Woke up around 3:45 with this dream fading from my brain ( as more and more things seem to be doing lately) and an overwhelming feeling of sadness enveloping me.
John Lennon came to my house, knocked on my door and asked me if I wanted to take a walk with him and Yoko. There was a third person there, but I have no idea who it was. I asked Carol if she wanted to join us but she was busy at the time and declined to join us.
I walked out the door blown away by my good fortune. Apparently me and John were good friends because we had a lot to talk about. He was in a very good mood, talking excitedly and displaying his typical pointedly intelligent humor. He and Yoko were considering buying a house in the neighborhood and they stopped to look at. This was the first time in the dream that Yoko acknowledged me; she came over and gave me a warm kiss on my cheek. She was wearing bright red lipstick and I remember thinking I would have that on my cheek when I got home. John and Yoko were checking out the house, excitedly talking about the changes they would make to it, tearing this down, adding that on. We headed back to my house and settled into the den, which my house does not in reality have. Carol was still busy and did not join us immediately. The conversation continued and it was happy and full of life. Eventually Carol did join us and she was psyched to be a part of the whole deal. We were all very comfortable together.
This is the point at which I woke up, and while I was in that half awake and half asleep stage I felt awesome. I could not wait to get together with John and Yoko again. A few seconds later I was fully awake and remembered that John is dead. I literally became very sad. My dreams seem so real to me at times that it actually hurts to wake up. This was one of those dreams.
I am not interested in figuring out the meaning of this dream; what fascinates me is how you respond emotionally to things your mind makes up. For a few brief seconds I believed that John was alive and that he was my friend and I felt so good about it. A few more seconds and reality intruded and sadness washed over me.
Most of my dreams are quite bizarre. I call them hallucinations, not dreams, because I swear they are LSD fueled, even though I never have dropped acid (although I wish I did). I want to invent a device that records dreams so you can play them back when you wake up. Maybe some kind of wireless electrode you attach to your head that transmits the dreams to a recording/playback device. You KNOW they would be better than any movie ever invented. Of course somebody somewhere is going to invent this thing and get rich while I remain a humble low wage earner.
Anyway, I am entertained by the hallucinations, but I think I like the semi-real dreams better because they inspire genuine emotion, and I am all about feeling. The Lennon thing is believable to me because I believe we could really have been friends had we ever met. You may think I am delusional and you may be right, but this is my world and I will believe what I want to.
I don't think dreams are random, I think they reflect thoughts hidden underneath the self protective layers of our brains, the layers that allow us to perform every day for the benefit of everyone around us. I felt emotions deeply through this dream and I believe there is something in my brain that made me dream it, some reason for those thoughts to briefly make an appearance in my reality. Maybe John came to me to tell me that I am a brilliant writer, one creative individual to another, and that I must continue to do what I am doing because it will lead to peace of mind and soul and eventually, great riches. I AM JUST KIDDING. Come on, my ego is not quite that big.
But I do believe my mind was trying to tell me something. There are thoughts swirling around my subconscious because of the enormous self change I am trying to effect in 2011. My conscious existence cannot possibly handle everything bouncing around my brain right now; my subconscious has to shoulder some of the load.
That dream is how my brain chose to try to tell me something. Maybe I'll figure it out, maybe I won't. But for a few brief moments John Lennon was a true friend of mine, he was in my life and my heart and my soul, and it felt so damn good.