Kevin it has been a year since you died and I still have not accepted it.
I just re-read your obituary and I don't know why. I did not like it. The emotions came roaring back to the surface.
I miss you, man.
Two things I immediately go to when I think of you are racing and The Allman Brothers.
We went to a lot of races together and a few Allman Brothers concerts. I was especially glad that you dug the Allman Brothers with me - those were some crazy nights but they were filled with amazing music that lifted us up and above the every day bullshit.
That is what is supposed to happen when you dig special things with family and we did that.
We had a blast. We always had a goddamn blast. Insanity, laughter, excitement, intensity.
We had many conversations over the years, deep conversations, personal conversations. Quietly talking about life and you and me and family and every other goddamn thing.
Soul nourishing, meaningful stuff. The stuff of life.
You lived with Carol and me for a while after you got back from that drug rehab/outdoor healthy refocus in the desert thing. We spent many nights watching movies, you and I - usually violent movies, movies with drug related themes, insane movies. I was a little uncomfortable about that but it was who we were and, ultimately I dug it.
I really dug it.
Another great memory is Sarge and Cori's memorial day cookouts. After Sarge got sick and you and I manned the grills.
Barbecuing side by side, sipping on beers, talking and laughing.
I was out of my league; you were a professional cook, Sarge was THE professional cook. But I held my own with you and survived Sarge's supervision and we had fun.
You were 34 when you died. Way too fucking young.
Technically you were Carol's nephew but I never made that distinction in my mind. You were my nephew too.
Thanks for the memories, man.
We did have fun and we were real and honest and close.
Can't ask more from another human being.