Carol

Gotta talk about my amazing wife some more.

As I have previously said, I see her in a much different way now.

It makes me sound like an asshole, but my love for her has been re-awakened.

Truthfully, almost any couple that has been together for forty years becomes complacent. Not a lot going on there, not much excitement; predictability and routine dominate, which is never good for the soul.

However, longevity should never be an excuse for complacency. Love should transcend that.

I guess most of us are lazy.

I watched Carol talk to and connect with Alan in a deep and meaningful way that many cannot appreciate. I sensed her strength, her positive attitude; I was so proud of her and felt so good for her.

I watched Carol talk to Marge about their shared experience battling a brain tumor. Again, I sensed her strength and positive attitude. She is all about getting to where she wants to be. Marge gave her advice about facial exercises to do and Carol gobbled up that advice.

There is no "woe is me" in Carol.

It is hard for me to describe my emotions in these situations and many others. Suffice it to say my reaction is powerful and sometimes overwhelming.

Carol has a tough month this month. Reminiscent of what she went through last summer after being diagnosed with a double dose of cancer.

She calls it being poked and prodded.

She had a follow up mammogram yesterday in Concord. On the 15th we head up to Dartmouth-Hitchcock for an appointment to discuss possible help with her hearing issues. On the 17th we head back up to Dartmouth-Hitchcock for a follow up MRI on her brain and a meeting with one of the surgeons who operated on her.

Pain in the ass, tough for her because it makes her feel like a piece of meat, but necessary, and we both know in our hearts the news will continue to be good.

I am looking at her Patient Information Sheet from yesterday's mammogram. Under problems the following issues are listed: Acoustic neuroma, impairment of balance, malignant tumor of breast, unilateral hearing loss, hypertensive disorder, tachycardia (not sure where that came from).

Next to that block of information is written, in black sharpie, two words:

"No concerns."

I looked at this sheet twice earlier this morning and dropped a couple of tears. I am looking at it right now and doing the same thing.

Guess that's the best way to tell you how I feel about Carol.