Definition of Insanity

Getting excited for pre-season football.

Pre-season football is as about as exciting as the Pro Bowl. Who could possibly give a shit?

ME.

Goddamn it I love football.

I get sucked in at this time every year. Start watching the NFL Network.

They got around the clock coverage of training camps. Training Camp Live. You have any idea how boring that is? Commentators sitting around forever trying to find interesting things to say. Squirming to find a way to make anything interesting. Often failing miserably at lame attempts at humor that make them look like fools.

And of course you have Andrew Siciliano's ears.

It's like when there is a tragedy and the news stations give you around the clock coverage. They tell you everything you need to know in the first ten minutes, but go on and on for hours repeating the same shit over and over again in the gravest of tones.

Training Camp Live is like that. And I watch it.

The NFL Network has a show called "Good Morning Football". Are you fucking kidding me? Every show about football should just be called "Motherfucking Football". Period.

Good Morning Football is a cutesy name and they do a lot of cutesy stuff. There is no room for cutesy in football.

I watch the show.

They have a series called Hard Knocks. I do love this show. They follow one team through training camp and the pre-season. You get a real feel for what it is like to be a football player. You also get emotionally caught up as guys try to make the team. Some get cut and that is a painful thing to watch.

This year they are following the Cleveland Browns. For you non-football fans, the Browns lost every single game last year. 0 and 16. Should be an interesting show.

I have finally come to grips with my relationship to football. I hate the injuries it causes, the lives it ruins. I hate Roger Goodell. Fucking guy ain't nothing more than a glorified CEO. He is not a football guy. I should be the fucking commissioner of the NFL. I deserve it. I have been loving football for 54 years. Of course I also want his salary (typically upwards of $30 million).

I hate the way the NFL sacrifices the health of its players and then covers it up and lies about it. I hate the rich white owners who are arrogant and don't give a shit about their players. To them the game is "product"; to them players are "assets".

I gotta give Robert Kraft a pass. I love him. I gotta love him. I am not aware of any bad shit about him. If he is ever exposed as a fraud it will break my heart. But it might open the door for my opportunity to become the owner of THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS.

At that point I would give up my position as commissioner of the NFL and pass it on jointly to Keith and Craig.

All that being said, I still love football. I will always love it. I cannot help myself. When I die you might as well bury me in an Allman Brothers t-shirt, and place a bottle of Crown Royal and an official NFL football in the coffin. And that football better be autographed by Jim Brown, Joe Namath, Jerry Rice, Joe Montana and Tom Brady.

I will watch THE PATS' pre-season Game #1 tonight. Against the redskins. You better believe I will watch it. For about half an hour. After that it gets stupid as all the youngsters get their chances.

Apparently Brady will play tonight. He'll get a few plays in and then bow out. Knock off a little rust, get a feel for his receivers.

I won't see anything exciting. But I'll still be drooling.

It's coming, baby. The 2018 NFL season. I cannot fucking wait.

I will watch some games with Paula & Bill in complete insanity and abandon. I will watch some games with Keith and Craig in pride and love and laughter. I will watch many games sitting next to Carol with a cat in my lap. Carol has made such an effort to understand the game over the years that I think she gets it better than me.

All of that is OK with me.

Brief aside: It is impossible to get football crazy with a cat in your lap. I only lost it once when something happened and I just yelled in excitement. I don't remember which cat it was but she shot off my lap like a rocket. I have learned to control my emotions since then.

Football gives me something to live for even when I know snow is coming.

Powerful stuff.