What Love Is

Love is a strange little animal.

Between humans, anyway.

It starts out as one thing and then becomes the real thing, if you are lucky.

Confident people approach love with cockiness. "Yeah, I know I am attractive, I am personable and I know people naturally want to be around me."

That kind of attitude makes meeting people easier, but I think it complicates things in the long run. You gotta get past the ego and get down to what love truly is; you gotta dig down with sincerity and an appreciation for how powerful love can be before you can honestly say that you are "in love".

Most people fail at this. Or don't even try. And then love becomes an endurance test. Or divorce.

Shy people avoid this. Just summoning the courage to ask someone out is a big deal. If they get over that hurdle I believe shy people are more honest. I am talking about people who do not fit the classic definition of being physically attractive, and people who have little or no self confidence. People who maybe get little respect and attention in their daily life. People who just are.

Love to them is magic. "Holy shit, this person agreed to go out with me. Maybe I won't be alone for my entire life." They understand on a deeper level what it means to open yourself up to another person, how risky that van be. They get how hard life is and how amazing it is to share it with someone. They skip the whole "trying to impress each other" bullshit. They go right to the "this is who I really am" chapter in the story.

This is my theory. I could be completely full of shit. I often am.

And I am not demeaning shy people. I am respecting them. They are more honest.

When I see a scene like that in a movie - two shy people having dinner for the first time - or read it in a book, it resonates with me. You say "For Christ sake, Joe - it's only a movie." Yeah, I get it but what the hell do you want me to do? Stalk shy people?

Movies quite often depict life as it truly is. At least good ones do.

For me it always comes down to honesty - straight ahead emotional and intellectual communication. No bullshit. I ache for that. I get it from my family, but when I walk out the door it's a whole different story.

I don't blame people. You gotta shield yourself to survive. This is why I hate going out in public.

If I have to talk to someone I want that communication to be pure. Silly, huh? I just think that if you gotta interact with people it would be nice to interact with who they really are.

Ridiculously unrealistic. Which is why I have my books and my poetry to protect me. Can't resist - I dredge that lyric up from time to time because it resonates with me. Thanks, Paul Simon.

Anyway, what I meant to say is that's why scenes of shy people stretching out into love rocks me. It just seems more real to me. And it shines a white hot spotlight on how risky it is to decide to trust someone.