"The worst person I know.............sent from down below..............Satan should be her name." The song is Mother in Law and those are excerpts from the lyrics. A pretty accurate description of how most people feel. Except Emily, who is obviously a perceptive judge of human nature.
I don't get the whole in-law concept. Why is it necessary to classify these relationships? Marrying Carol didn't make Skip and Dolly my parents by law or otherwise. I love them but was never comfortable calling them mom or dad, nor was I comfortable addressing them by name, so I never called them anything. Weird. They had names for me but I can't get into that until I fire up an x-rated blog. Something to look forward to.
I lucked out on the whole deal. Carol's family is pretty cool; I think it was tougher for her because my family was kind of uptight. It is pretty much a crap shoot when you get married and it gets even riskier when your kids get married. Again I lucked out. Emily's dad is a career military dude, I am a ponytail wearing, ear ring sporting, underachiever. Thought he would hate my guts. Turns out he is pretty cool and has never once made me feel condescended to.
I have to focus on two relationships; brother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Sarge is one of my brothers-in-law and he is way cool. I have only known him since around the mid seventies but I have heard all the stories about his wild ass youth. He is a guy who has always been himself. Does his own thing his own way. Period. He is tough, smart, funny, insane and just plain like-able. People are drawn to him. People respect him. People love him. He is one of those unique people who has LIVED his life and continues to do so.
I was intimidated by him when we first met because I wasn't me then. I was an accountant. A hideous state of affairs by any measurement. And I have gone through half a million changes since then because I am still becoming me. In my opinion the brother-in- thing flows both ways with us. I love having him as a relative but I believe there may have been times (hopefully not now) where the feeling was not mutual. Which makes sense to me. I was a pasty faced, cubicle dwelling geek when he met me. It took me a long time to get to where I am now, whereas he has always been comfortable in his own skin. He probably didn't like or respect me when I was more like Gumby than a man.
We have a blast together now; we have gotten each other in trouble a million times and probably will again. I love the man and I hope that if he doesn't feel quite the same way, somewhere down the road the phrase brother-in-law will make him smile when he thinks of me.
Daughter-in-law is the real killer. I HATE describing Emily in this way. Feels like I am qualifying her - "She's not really family." Carol and I love her deeply and feel like she is the daughter we never had. I struggle with better ways to refer to her but they all sound hollow. If I call her my daughter, the relationship police will confiscate all my whiskey. She is way smart, amazingly talented, she is unique, funny, very human and impressive to be around. My son picked her out; how could she be anything but? I love the fact that she is trying to carve out a life for herself in a non-traditional way. She will succeed. There is just too much good stuff there to be crammed into a predictable life.
Speaking of sons, there is another woman lurking around the family in the company of Craig. We loved Karen the first time we met her; down to earth, great sense of humor, smart, at ease being herself in a family of eccentrics. We would be ecstatic to call her daughter-in-law (for lack of a more personal description) should that eventuality arise. If it doesn't happen we could only conclude that Craig is not the genius we think he is.
Qualifier: I try not to brag about my family. Everybody does it, so it becomes meaningless. But I know in my heart that if you met my sons and their women you would confirm my high opinion of them.
Brother-in-law. Usually has a negative connotation. But not for me; I love and respect the man and enjoy his company immensely.
Daughter-in-law. An unacceptable phrase to me. It cannot contain the size of the love we have for Emily.
That's all I'm trying to say.
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