Tuesday, September 23, 2014

As Far As I Know

As far as I know I came pretty close to getting a new and better job.

Then, suddenly, I didn't get it.

I placed high hopes on this possibility. Monday to Friday job, no nights, no weekends. Exactly what I am looking for as I continue to look for myself.

Could be delusional. Maybe they laughed at me the minute I walked out of the interview. The job search, the interview process is twisted and not grounded in reality.

But.....all signs were that I was definitely in the finals. This based on feedback from one of the interviewers, who I know in a work capacity and spoke to after the interview.

No matter. It didn't happen. Whatever the reality was, doesn't matter.

The current reality is what matters.

Right now that is pretty shaky.

I would be lying if I told you I didn't medicate myself after receiving THE CALL at 3:00 yesterday afternoon. Had the day off.

I had no choice.

I didn't bargain for today, though. I couldn't read this morning. COULDN'T READ. Couldn't concentrate.

My heart is pounding like a big base drum and I loathe the idea of going to The Asylum today. I'm pacing and jittery.

My mind envisions doors closing in permanence all around me, and there weren't too many open doors to begin with.

Employers would prefer burying 60 year olds to hiring them.

So here we go.

Let's see where this all leads.

1 comment:

  1. You did have a choice after you got the call. You chose to take the low road and drink (probably too much). And where did it get you? You probably do not feel too well today, you probably did not have the best of nights with your wife, and because booze is a depressant, you are probably very depressed right now.
    You could have chosen to start immediately looking for another job. You wasted an entire afternoon in your pity party when you could have chosen to pull it all together and keep going.
    Get off you ass and try again. If you really want to get out of there, then keep trying. Something will happen if you keep trying. If you stop trying, nothing will happen,.
    A new reader