Nelson Smith (My Friend)

A close friend of mine died yesterday.

His name was Nelson Smith.

Nelson was a friend for over 50 years. He was in my high school graduating class, but he was a closer friend to my brother, who was a year behind.

Nelson has a daughter named Kimberly and a son named Christopher and a girlfriend named Mary Beth. My heart breaks for them.

He had his ups and downs in the business world because he took risks. He had guts and he had self-confidence. And when he was down he always bounced back. Always. When he died he owned a limosine service. 

He was married and divorced a number of times. He loved the ladies. In fact, a story we all tell is that at his first wedding we were all taking bets on whether or not he would even show up.

He almost pitched for the Kansas City Royals. He had been drafted by and/or signed with them, but he injured his arm, which put an end to his professional baseball prospects. He talked about it to me but never showed any bitterness. Something like that would have destroyed a lot of people.

Nelson had a strong presence about him. He was always laughing. He was a positive guy with a great sense of humor who loved to tell stories. I heard some of his stories dozens of times. There were times when I indulged him but, in my head said to myself - "here we go again." I regret that. I will miss his stories.

Nelson's death is deeply personal. It hurts. It is way too close. I am having a very difficult time handling it, and I know it's worse for my brother.

I didn't see him often - the last time was probably two or three years ago, maybe more, but the point is that he was still in my life. A lifelong friendship. A rare and meaningful thing. A gift.

Nelson died of a heart attack and, as far as I know, had never had any previous heart problems. He was in Greece on vacation. My brother told me that before Nelson left he said he was nervous because he had never left his business for as long as he was going to be away. And then said "But if I don't do it now, when will I get another chance?" I am glad he made it for whatever brief time he got to enjoy it.

But I am heartbroken for Mary Beth. Not only does she have to deal with Nelson's death, she has to deal with all the red tape of bringing him home, which I guess is going to take a couple of weeks.

Making it Personal: I am afraid. I talk about death a lot but I don't take it seriously. I imagine this is true of all of us. We think of it in the abstract. But it is very real. What happened to Nelson can happen to me and to anyone that I love. 

I am happy that Nelson was in my life. I am even happier that he was in my brother's life - they were very close. Nelson made me laugh. That is worth a lot. And when he was around I was never bored. Again, worth a lot.

Ultimately Nelson was a good guy. I trusted him. Although I didn't see him often I considered him to be a true friend. I knew he would never hurt me. I knew our friendship was real.

Nelson, I am so sad to see you go. It really hurts, my friend. But you brought a lot of happiness into a lot of peoples' lives. And you made your mark. 

Requiescat in pace, Nelson.

And thank you.