I have withdrawn 35 books from the town library since I moved to this very cool town.
75% have had stained pages. WTF? Green stains, orange stains, red stains, brown stains, yellow stains - are you fucking kidding me? I refuse to speculate on the origins of those stains - if I do I will end up decontaminating every book in a special purification unit costing me $2,500.
Do people disrespect free books? If so, they should be jailed. Cracks me up - everybody pisses and moans about the cost of things, but when you give them free stuff they piss on it.
My books are pristine. And I treat library books the same way - like precious gems.
When I devour a greasy plate of baby back ribs, I don't immediately pick up a copy of War & Peace. I wash my fucking hands first.
I'm digging the library thing, man - do you have any idea how much money I've saved by not buying 35 books? Plus I enjoy going in and browsing - it's not Old Number Six Book Depot, but the tiny Belmont library still brings me peace.
But not the page stainers. They bring me no peace.
When I am elected King of the World these people will be herded up and forced to clean public toilets for the rest of their lives.
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