Monday, August 1, 2011

August 1 Thoughts

OK I'm back. Walked two miles yesterday, rode the exercise bike for 20 minutes, cranked out some sit ups and did a little light weight work to avoid flabby old man arms. Gonna do the same today. Bouncing back like a rubber ball. Remember Super Balls? Those things were amazing. One bounce and they would go to the moon and back. Wish I had one today. I'd bounce it in the Booze Emporium and see how much damage it could do.
Apparently I cannot be stopped in 2011. It's the new me. Super Joe. I'm on a mission, several missions, and life might detour me or slow me down but I will bounce right back up and continue flailing away until I get what I want.
Sometimes good literature can ruin you for anything less. Finished Franny and Zooey yesterday, picked up a new book today and I could not read it. You have no idea how hard it is for me to put a book down, to not read it. Reading is religion to me; I start a new book thrilled with anticipation and I want to dig it, want to be entertained or informed or challenged or made uncomfortable. I was bored, couldn't get into the book. Now I'm lost, off balance. Have to find new inspiration later today or tomorrow; I need a book in my hands like my lungs need air.
Franny and Zooey ended with Zooey explaining life philosophy to Franny. Heavy duty stuff, makes you stop and think kind of stuff. I'm always blown away when I read stuff like that because if you pull back, you realize this is the author speaking. His thoughts, his philosophy. I am amazed at the depth of thought some authors, some people, are capable of. And I wonder why my brain doesn't function in that way.
There was a lot to it, but the thing that smacked my face was the "doing things for the sake of doing them" philosophy. If you are an actor, act for the sake of acting, because you love it. Not to achieve any end result, not to make money. The only way to be happy is to do it for the sake of doing it, with love, and with all your heart. Good things will come from that. You can apply that to anything you do in your life.
It makes sense to me but I can't quite get my head to that place. I love to write. I AM writing. I can't say it any simpler or more dramatically than that. But I am pushing in 2011 because I want to make money from writing, I am not doing it for the sheer beauty and release of it. So even though I enjoy doing this, I am frustrated because I am not making any money from it; I worry that maybe I am wasting my time, that I don't have an intelligent plan for making money from my words. So the dream is tarnished somewhat, pressure is added to the act of writing. Apparently I must continue trying to purify my mind.
Hope is an amazing thing and very difficult to sustain or even to have at all. The beginning of any sports season resurrects hope in its purest form. Every fan believes their team has a chance before the season starts, as the teams prepare, as the hype intensifies. Except the groundskeepers in Major League who are convinced the Cleveland Indians suck. Even Carolina Panthers fans think they have a chance this year.
It's a tasty feeling and one that would make life more enjoyable if you could experience it every day. But you can't. Life beats you down and your mind distracts you and suddenly you are drunk and without hope. I am going to bottle up some of my New England Patriots hope and store it away for future reference. I won't need it as much as usual because I am strangely hopeful about the New England Joe this year, but you never know; hope can be a good thing to have in reserve. By the way, the Red Sox have me psyched too, and I am sucking some of that hope into my bloodstream as well. I am fortified for anything that comes down the road baby; you better believe it.
Read an interview in Rolling Stone this morning with Larry David. Excellent stuff. Carol and I were watching Curb last night and I told her that I thought Leon (the guy that lives in Larry's house) is absolutely hilarious. I laugh every time he opens his mouth. Coincidentally, in this interview, the writer describes him as "perhaps the single funniest character currently on television." I rest my case. Watch the show, it's excellent on it's own merits, but if you enjoy nothing else, at least dig Leon.
OK it's August 1. First of all I want to warn you that you have exactly one month left to summer. So you better get out and dig the hell out of it. On September 1, winter officially begins. We'll probably get hit with two feet of snow and temperatures dipping to 5 below on that day. I weighed myself today for the pure hell of it. I have accepted that this weight loss process will be slow given my advanced years but I am still committed to getting under 170. Today I weighed 173. Two pounds less than on July 1. ????????????? Thanks to dizziness and fatigue I only exercised 4 times between July 19 and July 31. I modified my diet in July, more cereal, less cheese, taking only half sandwiches to work, cut down a little on the booze ( turned my typical two nip trip home from work into a zero nip trip - probably saved 10,00 calories right there). So what happened here? Did I lose fat? Did I lose muscle? Am I healthier? Am I on the right track? The human body is a mystery, even to highly trained and overly paid doctors. I'll just keep on plugging away, pushing myself and making adjustments, until I reach my goal.
And I'll try to keep the whining to a minimum.

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