Shit I Don't Know

As my life gets smaller I define it more narrowly. And when I discover something I don't know, but feel that I should know, I get pissed.

I take pride in my knowledge of music. Specifically rock 'n roll, and the blues. And when those two genres intersect, my mind is blown.

As in The Allman Brothers Band.

Here's a fact I recently became aware of.

There are three people who have sold 100 million albums as solo artists and as members of bands. Only three in history. That's it.

Paul McCartney, Michael Jackson and....................................

Phil Collins.

Did you know that? Could you even have guessed it?

No fucking way. Don't lie to me. You didn't know it, you couldn't have guessed it.

Neither did I or could I. Maybe I could have pieced together the Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney parts, but never Phil Collins.

Here's the deal. I love Phil Collins. Fucking love him. I have so many Phil Collins lyrics in my head, so many great songs, that sometimes I have to clear a few out just to be able to wipe my ass.

I have always said that if I didn't have so many song lyrics in my head I could have been a spectacular financial success. Billionaire. No doubt.

There are so many lyrics in my brain that I just can't think; got no common sense. The brain only has so much capacity, you know.

 Anyway, it pisses me off and simultaneously pleases me when I become aware of a fact like that. I should have known it, but what the fuck, I know it now.

I could rattle off 2 million, maybe three million Phil Collins songs that I love - as a member of Genesis, and as a solo artist.

But let's address the elephant in the room. "In The Air Tonight". Jesus fucking Christ I love that song. And so do you.

The mood, man - the fucking mood that the music creates. Dark, meaningful, thought  and fear provoking. Holy shit that tastes good.

The lyrics - heavy, heavy, heavy. Makes me want to kill every one of my enemies.

And the drum break. Fucking makes the song. So simple but so powerful. I have air drummed that break 253,198 times in my life and will continue to do so until Dr. Feelgood tells me I am so old that my arms must be amputated (?).

Same for you. You know it. Air drumming, playing air guitar, Jesus Christ, man - it makes you feel like a rock star. And God knows we all need that every single minute of every single day of your motherfucking life.

In 1985 Phil Collins performed at the Live Aid concert. In London. In Philadelphia. On the same fucking day.

He played at Wembley Stadium in London, then jumped on a helicopter which got him to a supersonic Concorde jet to NYC, where he jumped on to another helicopter that took him to Philadelphia.

He took a lot of shit for that. "Too over the top". Fuck you - that was rock 'n roll, baby. Fucking amazing.

Anyway, I am happy to learn this about Phil Collins. Happy to reconnect with him. I have been wearing Alexa out with Phil Collins requests.

I hope to have him over to the house for dinner righteously soon. I think we would have a good time. Barbecue up some goddamn good food, drink some wine, talk music.

Talk life, for Christ sake. He's 68, I'm 65, my birthday's January 1, his is January 30. Other than his massive success, his impressive talent, his celebrity, and his massive wealth - we have a lot in common.

Another human being who has brought great joy and abandon to my life.

Ladies and gentlemen - Mr. Phil Collins.