Giorgio's Dream

Giorgio was sitting in the offices of the Small Business Administration, talking excitedly to the loan officer about his business proposal. 

He was asking for a $250,000 loan.

The loan officer appeared to be uncomfortable.

Giorgio continued.

"No parent wants their kids to grow up and leave the house. Kids are magic. Almost as valuable as pets. It hurts when they leave. You've invested so much time and money and effort and love over the years, and then they suddenly get independent and go out and live their own lives. Just like that. Do you have kids?"

The loan officer looked at his watch, cleared his throat and said "Yes."

Giorgio continued.

"I have devised a Perpetual Dependent System designed to gently break the will of your kids and keep them with you until you die. Then they're on their own. It's a good idea to designate god-parents, people who will take their ultimate responsibility seriously. Including passing it on down to their own kids or younger relatives in the event that becomes necessary.

I have a chair that is plush, with cupholders, and an arm big enough to hold two dinner plates. It also has a chest strap designed for general restraint, and straps to be used as arm restraints when necessary. 

I invented a gentle electro-shock device to adminster electricity to the brain, in small doses at low levels. Over time this therapy will destroy all independent thought on the part of the child until you no longer need to restrain them. Then you will have the perfect child. Eternally. I need $250,000 to initiate the manufacturing process."

The loan office pressed the alarm button secreted under his desk. And said "My colleague will be here in a minute so he can review your business plan and move this process along to its conclusion."

Giorgio was elated.

The security guard walked in, billy club in hand. When Giorgio leaped to his feet, the guard clubbed him into unconsciousness.

An investigation ensued. It led to the discovery of Giorgio's two children, dead on the kitchen floor of his studio apartment, electrical burns evident on their shaved temples.

Giorgio was tried, convicted and sentenced to death.

Eight years later he was electrocuted.

Justice delayed, but delightfully appropriate.