Sunday, December 2, 2012

One Hell Of A Day, Baby

I am getting sucked into this Christmas thing in a most spiritual way and you will suffer accordingly.

Driving to work yesterday in The Peace Mobile - listened to a Mariah Carey Christmas on the way in, a Willie Nelson Christmas on the way home. Two people and two styles that could not be more different.

Didn't matter. My soul was moved.

I really dig Christmas music. The spirituality, the hope, even the broken hearted I miss you most at Christmas stuff. It is pure, raw, emotion. It lays bare our eternal and deep seated need for SOMETHING.

We want Christ. We want Santa.

Weird time of year when two mythical figures are so revered. I hesitate to call Jesus mythical. I want him to be real. It is so hard for my tiny brain to accept the fact that I die into nothingness. Evolution is a cold concept. It is also so hard for my tiny brain to accept the Jesus story. I am going to have to make a choice soon. The future's uncertain and the end is always near.

Our dear Savior's birth. The new born King. Glorified references to this dude that we ache to believe in, that we ache to save us. There is majesty in Christmas songs. To me it is a time when the essence of humanity's struggle is laid bare. But it is done in a spirit of hope, not despair. Bill Maher may not like it and I dig where he is coming from, but what harm can it do? In fact I argue that it is good for us to be honest about this fear that gnaws at us and express a hope that there really is an answer.

At least once in a while. Open up the valve and let out all that frustration you have hidden all year. Speak hopeful words, sing hopeful songs and screw anybody else who mocks you. It is extremely detrimental to hide behind a thin and disingenuous veil of false bravado 24/7 365. Only a fool refuses to admit they are human once in a while.

Annual Rant: Carol and I watched Love Actually last night. It is a tradition with us. Every year I tell you about it. The movie is pure fluff. It is also pure feel good. Just watch the goddamn thing. You will laugh, you will cry, you will absorb Christmas directly into your cellular make up.

The movie opens up with Hugh Grant talking over a scene at Heathrow Airport where people are arriving home and everybody is hugging and kissing and laughing and crying tears of joy. He talks about how everybody says the world sucks and is filled with heartbreak. Says he doesn't see that. That if you look around you will see that love, actually, is all around us.

He's right. There really is a lot of love in the world. Families, friends, compassionate people for struggling strangers. We tend to hide it a bit. Public displays of affection are frowned upon. We humans are eternally stupid. I will try to look for it more closely. Maybe it will soften some of my writing.

Carol and I made a pact to also watch A Christmas Carol (George C. Scott), It's A Wonderful Life and Miracle On 34th Street. Personally I plan on watching Love Actually and A Christmas Carol more than once. We will also watch the David Letterman Christmas special show with Dave and Jay Thomas knocking the meatball off the Christmas tree with a football, Jay's Lone Ranger story, AND Darlene Love singing her heart out on Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) with Paul Shaffer and his magnificent band wailing behind her. Another tradition of ours.

Big News: Technology, baby. You gotta love it. I have been chasing a Christmas song for a couple of years now. A song that I love, that gives me goosebumps every time. I never knew the name of it so I chased it on YouTube, chased it on Google, typed in lyrics, could never find it. Drove me out of my mind.

The song pops up on the sound track at work yesterday. I go into a frenzy. I ask this guy Rich "Does the soundtrack include song titles?" "No". He walks out under a speaker, holds up his magic phone device for a few seconds and says "The Winter Song. By Angel."  BOOM. I don't know if he had to sprinkle the phone with holy water or say a quick prayer or work up some alchemist's potion but goddamn it, it made my day.

I am listening to it right now. For the second time this morning. I OWN it now. It's mine and it will never escape.

What a day, yesterday. Mariah and Willie, Love Actually, and The Winter Song. I am bursting with pure, unadulterated passion. Yeah, baby - Christmas passion. And I am just getting started.

For the first time in a long time Christmas is evolving into sweet magic for me instead of regret.

Feels pretty good.

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