Friday, December 26, 2014

12/26/14

Not sure what is going to come out of me today. I have never been in this situation before.

And hope never to be again.

Today is December 26. The day after Christmas, 2014.

Sarge is gone. Jonathan is gone.

My family has been through a lot of pain, a lot of tears in the past week and it will not stop for some time to come.

When I say my family I include Carol's family and Cori's family and Kathy's family.

And all the friends.

These deaths have touched so many people it is overwhelming.

Sarge's wake and Jonathan's wake were an endless stream of people mourning for hours.

Any death sucks. But it was strikingly obvious to any outsider that these two lives were special. The number of people whose lives they affected was overwhelming.

We, the family and close friends, already knew this. We were lucky enough to live it.

Two wakes, two days in a row, that communicated the message loud and clear that these two men didn't just live, they intertwined their life with yours and made your life better.

That is a rare and meaningful situation.

My brother Ed came up on Christmas Eve and spent the night. We had a magnificent meal, courtesy of Ed. We talked, we watched a movie and laughed.

My sons and their women came up on Christmas day. Despite the circumstances, we had a very good day. Lots of conversation, lots of laughter, lots of emotion.

It was deeply meaningful in a way it had never been before. It is the worst crime to take life and relatives and friends for granted. It is a shame that it takes death to jolt you out of complacency.

I will never again take anyone I love for granted.

Never.

I kept looking around, I fought back tears over and over again. I looked at my brother, who I have looked up to forever and marveled at his strength.

He made everybody laugh over and over again with his typical laser-like wit.

Cori worked on Christmas day. I'm sure she did it in part to keep her mind off Sarge, as much as that is possible. I also have a sneaking suspicion she also did it to allow someone else to spend the day with family.

She is that loving and considerate.

I thought about Eddie and Kathy and Cori all day long. I have no idea what they are going through. But I know they were strong and gave strength to those who mourned their pain.

These are amazing people.

I watched my strong wife Carol, who I love so much, put on a magnificent Christmas feast. Even though I know she is in a great deal of pain, mourning the loss of her baby brother.

She is an amazing woman.

I was lucky yesterday. I was surrounded by family on Christmas day. Close to my brother who is mourning the loss of his son. Close to my wife who is mourning the loss of her brother. I got to talk to Kathy, Jonathan's mom, and Cori, Sarge's wife.

I was with my sons and their women, four people who I worship and love so deeply it consumes me.

I am lucky to have these people in my life. I have always known that.

From now on I will hold them tighter than ever before. I will keep them closer than ever before.

They are my magic.

They are my life.

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