In a nutshell, what I was trying to say is this.
I create a lot of my own pain. The dark hallways of my diseased mind twist reality into a personalized suffering that suffocates my soul.
That does not matter.
The pain that did me in on Sunday, the pain that broke me, was the pain of others.
People that I love.
The pain of watching Sarge struggle. The pain of knowing how hard Cori is suffering. The pain of knowing how much Sarge's struggle hurts Carol. The pain that Keith and Emily experienced that night over an out of the blue and frightening emergency with a beloved pet.
It was too much pain in one day for me to comprehend.
I complain about my own life. What I realized that night is that what I really care about is the happiness and the health of the people I love.
What I realized that night is that I allow petty things to consume me. To distract me and waste my life and waste my happiness.
What I realized is that I allow petty people to steal my time.
Something broke in me that night.
There will be consequences.
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