Tight Rope

When I was out on the town in Nashville I was in my element.

Supremely happy.

When I was killing time in the hotel room all I could think about was getting home to Carol and the cats.

Phil and I quickly settled into a rhythm after our arrival - party at night, sleep late, grab a big breakfast, go back to the hotel to chill for a while, go back out. (We actually took naps, in an honest nod to our advanced age).

We did no touristy stuff.

My intention was to at least visit the Country Music Hall of Fame, but it didn't happen and I don't regret it.

I am not a touristy guy. Could have been cool to see so and so's car, so and so's guitar, autographed this and that but really, I'd rather come face to face with Willie Nelson than to look at a statue of him in a museum. 

Tootsie's and Nudie's were my museums.

There are at least two me's and the contrast is extreme.

I am never more comfortable than when I am sitting in a bar, sipping whiskey, listening to good music.

I am never more comfortable than when I am sitting in my recliner with a cat in my lap and Carol by my side.

My emotions bounced up and down in Nashville like a red rubber ball. Still, the trip was medicine for me at the exact moment when my soul needed tending to.

Fun Fact: We quickly realized that we were almost always the oldest people in every bar we went in to. The funniest situation was in Nudie's Honky Tonk. They have a roof top bar. We had not checked out any roof top bars yet so we decided to give it a shot.

Walked up four flights, walked outside, took one look around at the children who were partying up there, looked at each other and said "No fucking way". Walked back down the stairs to something closer to reality.

We did laugh about it.

Sobering Fact: Every night in every bar was a super-spreader event for Covid. Jammed in, elbow to elbow, no masks on any face. Including ours.

We felt somewhat confident because both of us got booster shots before the trip, but still................the jury is still out on this horrific disease. Then again, at some point, in some way, you gotta get back to living your life. There are millions of morons in this country who are quite content to jeopardize other peoples' health. This shit is going to go on forever because of their selfish stupidity.

Anyway, I did not expect the homebody in me to make such a strong showing. Christ, man - I was in Nashville. To wash away all my sins and commit new ones; to forget about the job; to forget about the responsibilities at home; to create a new, temporary reality where I could flourish; to revel in insane fun and cathartic escape.

I wanted Nashville to re-wire my brain to the point where my real life could not exist.

The pull is too strong. My family means everything to me and is a source of spiritual and emotional nourishment.

All in all, it was not a bad thing, though. I quickly learned to walk the tightrope between joyful abandonment and longing for my home.

"I'm up on the tight wire, one side's ice and one is fire" - Tight Rope, by Leon Russell.