Strange Karma

I was on my way to New York City to see The Allman Brothers Band, cruising comfortably in the warm arms of Amtrak, everything going like clockwork, when the train suddenly and inexplicably stopped between stations in Milford, Connecticut.

We sat for ten minutes, then twenty and passengers started to wonder what the hell was going on.

Eventually a voice came over the intercom saying there was a medical emergency and there was no way to project how long the delay would be.

Sitting in my window seat I had seen police cruisers and an ambulance pull up on the bridge up above us.

We kept getting vague updates. When we asked Amtrak employees what was going on, they told us nothing.

But this is 2014. Smart phones cannot be denied.

Suddenly word spread through the train that a young woman in her twenties had leaped to her death in front of our train.

Has that ever happened to you?

From the Connecticut Post: "For the second time in five months, a local resident has apparently leaped to their death in the same place and in front of the same speeding Amtrak train. On Monday afternoon, a woman in her 20's, whose name has not yet been released, died when she was struck by Amtrak Train 93, according to rail officials.  .................the train was held at the spot while the woman's remains were removed from the tracks."

I was on Amtrak train 93.

At first there was quiet. Reflection, maybe. Shock.

Eventually human nature took over. I heard people calling others explaining they would be late. Much later than expected. Trying to figure out how to make up for missed travel connections. Trying to figure out when and where they would meet those who were waiting to meet them.

There was more than a hint of impatience, annoyance and frustration in their voices.

I don't know what the protocol is when someone commits suicide in front of you.

But the atmosphere seemed odd to me.

I was no better than anyone else. The train stopped around 12:30. By 2:30 I began to wonder if there was a chance I would be late for the concert, even though it was at 8:00. I had no idea how much longer the trip would be nor any idea how long the delay would be.

My close friend Phil had flown up from Florida and was meeting me at the hotel. I had the concert tickets.

I was thinking how much it would suck if this magnificent opportunity were turned into a disaster.

I felt uncomfortable with these thoughts.

Maybe there should be a rule book on suicide. Maybe hopeless people should be schooled to not include or inconvenience anyone else when they take their own life. Maybe it should be an expressly private thing.

I don't know how you get this information into the right hands. I'm thinking a smart phone app, and scrolling messages during reality TV shows could target 90% of the population.

It was a surreal experience. Painful to think someone so young could feel so hopeless. Eye opening to have suicide introduced into your life as you anticipate a night of pure happiness.

As it turned out, I got to the hotel at 5:15 instead of 2:15. Phil and I agreed this was probably a good thing. If we had six hours to kill before the concert we would have gotten in trouble. Things could have gotten blurry.

It seemed like a small, selfish, cold hearted thought to have.