Of course, standing at a cash register off and on this week, Happy Thanksgiving wishes are bludgeoning me to death.
I don't mind. I love Thanksgiving. At least the way my family does it. Laid back, true and joyous.
What I do hate is "Happy Turkey Day."
I prefer depth. Happy Thanksgiving means something. Happy turkey day is kids stuff. And just imagine the fear that phrase inspires in any turkey that overhears it.
Why must Americans dilute everything? Other cultures have volatile emotions worn on the sleeve. We have the Kardashians.
It's almost like we fear depth. Meaningfulness. Everything has to be juvenile and superficial.
Thanksgiving is almost a sacred holiday. Most people I talk to much prefer Thanksgiving to Christmas. And it is obvious to me, as I humbly wait on people in the booze emporium, who genuinely digs Thanksgiving and who has no clue.
The real Thanksgiving people look me right in the eye and offer a heartfelt "Happy Thanksgiving." It makes me feel good. Inspires me to turn on my phony retail charm and dazzle them with my sincere personality.
The clueless drop turkey day references and/or whine about how they have to travel or entertain the in-laws.
Part of what I need at this time of year is genuine emotion. If you can't give me that, stay the hell away from me. I drown in superficiality every day. During the holidays I need proof that you are genuinely human. I want to connect with you soul to soul. I need to know that there are real people out there who care about real people.
Xmas. I fucking hate Xmas.
Say Merry Christmas. Happy Christmas is even better. Much more genuine. I don't give a damn if you are religious or not. At this point, the word Christmas has no religious significance unless money is your religion. So lighten up. You don't have to take Christ out of Christmas - he was never there in the first place.
Another expression I hate is "after the holidays."
We'll get together after the holidays. We'll get back to normal after the holidays.
No matter what the holidays mean to you, at the very least they are a break from the norm. Why the hell would you be in a hurry to get back to your "normal" life? The holidays are a temporary get out of jail free card. A gift that society bestows willingly.
From Thanksgiving through New Year's Day you are given carte blanche to party, to laugh, to eat too much, to drink too much, to dig your family in peace free from the constraints of deadlines and commitments, to break out of your routine and expose your soul to the world if you have the balls.
To break out of your routine. That is huge. Routine is the thing that sucks the life out of you and turns you from Frankenstein the gentle into Frankenstein the monster.
In other words, the holidays offer you the chance to live your life the way you want to and to be the person you really are.
"After the holidays" triggers a return to routine. To a you who peers out ashamed and afraid from behind the shadow of your own essence.
So don't rush it. Grab the next month and a half by the balls and give it a good twist. Turn your inhibitions into exhibitions and see where that takes you.