Sunday, November 29, 2015

Will NFL Players Begin Wearing Skirts?

I watch Inside The NFL.

I do it to gain knowledge to be used in the football pool I compete in.

Fat lot of good it has done me. I currently stand 6th out of 10 participants. That sucks grandly, especially considering that I just moved up one or two spots in the pool.

You will be happy to know I have cut down on the weekly research. I was way over the top for most of the year. Inside The NFL, plus a show on the NFL network called Aftermath or something quite like it, plus all the goddamn highlights and commentary I could find in random moments.

It is possible I suck in the pool because my brain was overloaded. My brain is tiny - if I am buttering a slice of bread and you ask me what day of the week it is, I will butter my arm.

But that is neither here nor there.

So now it is just Inside The NFL. It is worth watching that show if only for the fabulous NFL Films footage. Footage that gets you right down on the field, right down on the sidelines, on the line of scrimmage, in the huddle, right in the middle of running plays and passing plays etc. etc. etc.


Typical commentators are Adam Schein (host), Phil Simms, Boomer Esiason and Brandon Marshall.

Simms was QB for the Giants for fourteen years and retired in 1993. Esiason was QB for the bengals, jets and cardinals and retired in 1997.

Marshall represents the current breed of NFL players. He is currently a wide receiver for the jets.

Brandon Marshall should wear a skirt.

Recently he was talking about the jets flying over to London to play a game. He mentioned that the team brought along a sleep coach to help the players adjust to the time change.

Simms and Esiason almost fell off their chairs. Me too, although it is a lot harder to fall off a recliner than a stool. I don't consume as much whiskey as I used to but it might be worth it to find out exactly how drunk I would have to get to fall out of my recliner.

But I digress.

A sleep coach. A fucking sleep coach.

Marshall defended the practice while Boomer and Phil tried really hard to hide their smirks.

The last two episodes of Inside The NFL have featured segments, instigated by Marshall, dealing with the frosty relationship between players and the media.

Marshall is not happy with how the media treats players and apparently he is attempting to bring about detente through these segments.

Two weeks ago they had a journalist on and Marshall laid out his complaints, the journalist responded and they had a discussion.

Marshall came across as The King of All Whining.

This past week they had three journalists on, and Marshall and they went at it again with Esiason mediating.

This segment was pathetic too.

Marshall came across like a little kid who is crying because Blockhead Jones is calling him names.

I don't know, man. Is our culture's weakness and whining and excessive sensitivity infecting the NFL?

A game where the average player stands approximately eight feet tall and weighs 475 pounds?

The perfect football player to me has today's athleticism combined with old school football mentality.

Dick Butkus: "I'm not so mean. When I played pro football, I never set out to hurt anyone deliberately -  unless it was, you know, important, like a league game or something."

OK I admit I threw that in there for levity. I despise players who try to injure other players. I think Ndamukong Suh should be executed. I also think Butkus was quoted tongue and cheek. Maybe.

Anyway, I think Marshall comes across as weak and whiny on the show. I hope his attitude is not indicative of the general attitude of today's players.

My gut tells me it is not.

That's it. I'm done. I'm off to watch some late afternoon manly man football.

And tonight - PATS/broncos.

Perfect ending to a slow-moving, nerve soothing, Thanksgiving weekend.

Ciao, baby.

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