Monday, July 25, 2016

And Talking About "All The Pretty Horses" previous post

A quote from the book that made me laugh this morning was: "He shook his head. I despise the wintertime. I never did see what was the use in there even bein one."

Holy Christ do I agree with that.

It also got me thinking about my current situation, and I have to be delicate here.

Because of my new schedule this summer is moving at a delicious pace for me. I have so much time to just be in it that it slows everything down.

I have been sitting out on my screened-in porch for an hour now, writing.

My gratefulness continues to expand. I still shake my head and say "Wow." Instead of beginning to take it for granted, it appears that my appreciation grows ever stronger.

The delicate truth is in relation to Carol.

She inserted the retirement word into my brain, she supported me as I investigated, she was happy when I made it happen.

And I try very hard to pamper her, to make her home life as easy as possible so all she has to do is to go to work and come on home.

But it's that "all she has to do" part that is thorny.

She is a human being. Even though she really initiated this process, even though I know she appreciates what I do around the house - she still has to go to work.

She has to go to work knowing I can sleep late and move slowly. Knowing that my work related stress is practically non-existent even as hers shoots up through the roof.

No matter what remains unsaid in her head, I know this situation has got to be difficult for her.

I can only continue to do everything in my power to make her life easier. And hopefully we can find an equation that will allow her to retire or semi-retire soon, so we can enjoy freedom together.

We deserve it. We are both sixty two years old. We have worked hard for a lifetime and we have sacrificed and worried.

I am feeling extraordinarily optimistic these days, which of course is no surprise.

I think we will figure this out.

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