We Are Moving To Alaska

My mind is made up.

Over the last couple of weeks I have only exercised once or twice. It is too goddamn hot.

This truly sucks because I had momentum rolling along like a goddamn steamroller - I organized my time around working out and was religious about getting it done.

I felt good physically, I felt good mentally - I was proud of my commitment and the drive that kept me going.

After two weeks of smothering heat and almost complete inactivity my weight has ballooned to 295 pounds.

I feel lethargic, permanently tired, and my brain has become slow moving, dull witted and generally unaware.

This is dangerous. Technically I am a senior citizen. I have to work harder to remain alert and to stay physically healthy. When I don't work at it I backslide exponentially.

Age is a bitch, baby.

I choose Alaska over lethargy.

But wait - perhaps there is a simpler solution.

I heard there is this thing called air conditioning.

Trouble is, Carol and I have tried that in the past. Neither one of us can sleep with an air conditioner noise polluting the room.

I'm sure we could find a much quieter machine in 2016 but still, I doubt it would be quiet enough for us.

If you are aware of a perfectly silent a/c please drop me a line.

The best answer would be central air conditioning. Our heating system is forced hot air. Central a/c would be perfect and it would cool the whole house.

Problem is Carol and I rarely need a/c. We are rugged individualists, hearty country folk who prefer cooling breezes and gently rolling nights.

What?

Sorry the rolling night thing just popped into my head. I liked the sound of it regardless of the relevance to the conversation at hand; I just had to go with it.

Problem is we can't afford the $250,000 it would take to install central a/c. Plus a cost/benefit analysis would result in silly data when you consider the fact that we would only use the a/c ten days a year.

Alaska might not be so bad.

Especially if we can find a town like Cicely.