Don't Waste My Time

If you want to spend meaningful time with me you must:

Love The Allman Brothers Band. Or at least know who the hell they were. And appreciate their history.

Years ago, as assistant manager of the Peterboro liquor store, I was having a late shift conversation (translation - pontificating - about The Rollong Stones. Specifically about Keith Richards) with an underling. She was 19 years old.

At some point I noticed a glazed look in her eyes. I said "You don't know who Keith Richards is, do you?" She said "No."

I have had conversations with children who could not name all four Beatles. Right of passage - you must be able to name the 1st President of the United States. You must be able to name all four Beatles. First and last names.

Love The Blues.

Have an interest in serial killers.

Love The Beatles and live in awe at the shortness of their existence.

Love The Rolling Stones and live in awe at the durability of their career - and the consistent quality of what they turn out. And the passion with which they perform the oldies.

Love poetry and have an understanding about what an exquisite form of expression it is.

Love shows like Black Monday. Currently playing on Showtime. 3 seasons. Starring Don Cheadle. You have to love insanity to love this show. If you don't love insanity don't waste your breath talking to me.

Fucking Don Cheadle, man - if you don't appreciate him you are a fool and you are missing out on some serious artistic purity. Dial up the movie Miles Ahead - a biographical drama about Miles Davis, which Cheadle co-wrote, directed and starred in. Spectacular. And just for fun, check out Bulworth. Starring Cheadle and Warren Beatty.

Love Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman, Harry Dean Stanton, Jack Nicholson, Harvey Keitel, Tim Roth, Michael Madsen.

Love Hunter S. Thompson, Charles Bukowski, Lawrence Sanders, James Lee Burke, F. Scott Fitzgerald, William Faulkner, Edward Bunker, Cormac McCarthy, Hubert Selby Jr., Edgar Alan Poe, Oscar Wilde, Jack Ketchum.

Hate Stephen King.

Appreciate Keith Richards for his authenticity. Recognize the respect he commands within the rock 'n roll community and understand the origins of that respect.

Love the song Mother by John Lennon. Allow the raw, painful, honesty to rip the flesh from your face.

Understand that Henry James and William James were brothers - and two distinctly different people.

Have an interest in Soren Kierkegaard.

Love the movie True Romance, starring Christian Slater.

Love Christopher Walken.

Love the movie Trees Lounge, written and directed by and starring Steve Buscemi. And appreciate the line "And now, now, I got it embezzled in my head."

Love Buddy Rich, Maynard Ferguson, Chet Baker, Wynton Marsalis, Harry James, Doc Severinsen.

Despise corporate america - corporate anything - with a murderous rage.

Love creativity in its most radical form, love creativity in its most subtle form.

Love Van Gogh's story. And his art.

Love watching, reading, hearing, experiencing anything artistic that turns your stomach but does not provoke projectile vomitimg. Be challenged.

Love football. Love hockey.

Love birds.

Love sunshine. Love the dark.

Love candles.

Love Bobby Keys and Chuck Leavell, and understand the amazingly unique and magical roles they played in rock 'n roll.

This is a partial list. But it should inspire you to critically review and evaluate your resume before you send it to me.

And please.

Please don't waste my time.