Me & Abe

I am reading "Team of Rivals - The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln", by Doris Kearns Goodwin.

It is an epic tome (754 pages, hardcover - my favorite kind of book) about Abraham Lincoln and his runup to the presidency. Spectacular read.

There is historical speculation about whether Lincoln was clinically depressed or just a naturally melancholy man. Goodwin comes down on the side of melancholy, tied to the fact that Lincoln was uncommonly tenderhearted. From the book: "He possessed extraordinary empathy.  .............In a world environed by cruelty and injustice, Lincoln's remarkable empathy was inevitably a source of pain. His sensibilities were not only acute, they were raw."

That's me. I am The King of Empathy. So much so that it tends to shrink me down and build others up. It is a source of pain. It is raw.

It is also the reason people love me.

I feel other peoples' pain. I listen intently when they talk and they know this. They sense it. They appreciate it.

Generally, I don't get the same consideration in return, but - come on - I am 67 years old. I've been around, baby. I understand that people are selfish, tone deaf and insensitive.

I also believe that people just want to be heard. They want to be recognized as alive. 

Life beats them about the head mercilessly, until dizziness feels like stability. So when someone acknowledges them as human - even by doing something as simple as just listening to them - they melt, they open up, they exist.

And the feeling is foreign. Intoxicating.

Human beings deserve this experience.

Precious few people know I have prostate cancer. Because when someone says to me "What a beautiful day" I don't respond with "I have prostate cancer." Plenty of people would. And do. Because the only thing that matters is what's happening to them.

This is the opposite of empathy.

I am not bragging. I am pointing out that genuine human interaction is more important to me than playing directly to the sympathy game. And please note: Sympathy is a much different animal than empathy.

Sympathy is something that people manufacture. Empathy comes from the heart.

Important point: There is nowhere close to enough empathy in the world. Empathy is what counts. 

Empathy is precious.

So me & Abe - we got something in common. We care about other people. Intensely.

We have empathy.

This is a character trait that is being bled out of the human race.