Coming to an end.
I was very practical. Did a lot of work on the room upstairs - my lair - cleaned it out and up. It was a major fucking project and took about 4 hours over two days. But I made it functional.
I exercised hard.
Read a lot. Watched movies. Relaxed. Escaped from regret and worry as much as my mind would allow.
Did not work on my brain as much as I wanted to. I am experiencing a feeling of unease as tomorrow approaches. Still have no concrete plan for ending my own private hell.
That is a mistake.
The fucking alarm will screech at 5:30 am and I will immediately sink into despair. Vacations never take.
I was able to pinpoint two areas of focus for me to concentrate on. Kind of came up on me randomly, as my mind was freed up to contemplate, but they are true and they are accurate.
Mental toughness. Critical thinking.
I continue to push.
I know poison will consume me tomorrow. Probably start tonight. Eat away at me, melt my flesh and corrode my bones.
But I am more of a moving target thatn I used to be.
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