A Near Death Experience (Not Really) - But Frightening

Been sick as a motherfucking dog.

Since last Saturday. Courteous of my best friend in the whole wide world.

Phil. You know him, you love him. Friends since second grade. Stunning really.

I went to a concert with him last Friday night. Get to his house and he tells me he is sick as a motherfucking dog, but no Covid. He had just spent five days in Vegas and he came home sick. Tested negative three days in a row by the time I got there.

Funny how the mind works in the brave new world of deadly disease. I thought "No Covid - good to go." Never considered that he might infect me with some other deadly disease.

We shared Uber rides. Went to dinner. Went to the concert. Wound down at his house afterwards over a harmless cocktail or two. I spent the night.

Got home Saturday feeling funky but not sick. Had to fucking work Saturday night, which I did. Reluctantly.

Sunday things got tougher. Monday and Tuesday were really tough. Felt like I had a brick in my chest, sneezing like crazy, runaway runny nose and a nasty, nasty cough. 

Got in to see the doc on Wednesday - upper respiratory infection, which was aggravating my asthma. Got a prescription for a steroid, done deal.

Sitting at home Wednesday night, innocently sipping on hot water and lemon, when it went down the wrong pipe. I choked, but here's the fun part - I could not catch my breath. I could not inhale at all.

I grabbed the inhaler and pumped it - but could not inhale. Not one tiny fucking breath. Began to panic. Pumped the inhaler again - could not inhale. At all. Now I am really panicking and Carol is frantically asking me if she should call 911.

At that point I was scared to fucking death - I could not get a breath into my lungs. Figured I would collapse before emergency people got there and then................

I bent over at the waist. That seemed to open up a path - I took a tiny breath, then another, then another - straightened up and got three or four inhaler blasts into me.

And sat down trembling.

A sobering fucking experience.

Been out of work for a week. Happy to feel like shit.

The party is over. Gotta work tomorrow. I am just exhausted. Amazingly so. But that is no excuse. 

Everyone is exhausted.

Alternate ending:

Carol calls 911 - "Please help - my husband is choking, unable to breath, he can't breath at all! I think he's gonna die. Please hurry - he's running out of time."

In the meantime I recover.

Carol calls 911 again - "Never mind - the motherfucker lived."