Last Call (Two Good Friends)

M: "Wild Turkey 81? What the fuck would make you think I'd ever drink Wild Turkey 81?"

H: "Just thought you might like something different.You're always talking about shaking things up."

M: "Look, they make Wild Turkey 101 for a reason - it gets right to the point. It's a problem solver. No fucking bullshit. Clean and green. Effortless. Get it?"

H: "Problem solver? 101 causes problems for you, for Christ sake."

M: "Not from my perspective. 101 solves my biggest problem every fucking day - reality, baby - reality."

H: "You're unemployed, about to get evicted, divorced - you call that solutions?"

M: "Listen, my job sucked, my apartment is a shithole, my wife hated my guts - none of that shit fit anyway, whether I drink or not. So why shouldn't I drink a smile upon my face? Survival mode, baby - survival mode."

H: "I'm worried about your health."

M: "I'm moving to Australia."

H: "What?"

M: "I said I'm moving to Australia."

H: "What the hell are you talking about?"

M: "I'm trying to change the fucking subject, moron! I do not need your fucking lectures."

H: "Fuck it, do what you want. It's last call. What do you want?

M: "Wild Turkey. Neat. 101. And make it a double. And a 16 ounce PBR."

H: "Jesus, you never learn."

M: "Hey, I'm holding back, man - I got a job interview tomorrow and I wanna be sharp."

H: "A job interview? You gotta be kidding me. What kind of job?"

M: "Bartender. At Applebee's. Any fucking moron can be a bartender, baby."

H: "I love you too."