My New Rose-breasted Friend

Sitting in the recliner last week, early morning.

Sipping coffee, blissfully reading. Do you find my mornings boring?

I hear a tapping outside the picture window I sit beside. I turn to see a bird hopping on the windowsill. I turn more for a better look - the bird does not spook at all. In fact it hopped to my left a bit and back to my right - looking right in at me as I looked at it.

I was fucking blown away.

It hung for maybe another fifteen seconds, then took off.

It had a black head, black back, white breast with a red patch. Very striking. I googled it and a picture popped up of a rose-breasted grosbeak. That was it! That was the exact bird I saw. It was a male. Males have the distinctive red breast. Females are brown, beige, and yellow.

I told Carol about it in feverish excitement.

I see meaning in everything, so I looked for the symbolism of a rose-breasted grosbeak: "The grosbeak has on its chest a rose-colored triangle that looks like a bleeding heart. This totem can help teach us to heal all of the old wounds and hurts of family origin. The grosbeak helps us to see our family relationships as a true melody, each note separate, but part of the larger whole."

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How very disappointing. Trying too hard and ending up weak and unsatisfying. Jesus, give me a break.

If it said "The rose-breasted grosbeak is a sign of extended life - promising typically thirty more years than the national average." OR "The rose-breasted grosbeak signifies the purest of luck - guaranteeing lottery winnings of $30 million minimum." I would have been ecstatic. But healing old wounds? That's like expecting Johnny Walker Blue and getting Ten High.

HERE'S THE BEST PART - He came back!!!!!! A couple of days later I'm sitting in the recliner and he lands on the windowsill again. No fear, no hurry. Only this time Carol was in the living room with me. I said "Look, look, look - my bird is back!" She had time to turn towards the window and see my buddy hopping on the windowsill for 5 seconds before he took off.

He hasn't been back since. Breaks my heat. I miss him.

But two visits in a few days? Chillin' on my windowsill? Gotta mean something. I'm a believer, baby.

See you in 2057, folks.