Friday, March 17, 2023

Have You Looked Out The Fucking Window? (Let's Review)

Next week all the simple-minded people will be jumping up and down and clapping their hands like three year olds at a birthday party, as they exclaim: "It's spring! It's spring!"

And I will ask "Have you looked out the fucking window?"

I've been through all this before, but given the fact that the American attention span is 13 seconds, let's review: this is how New England seasons should be separated:

WINTER: November 1 - April 30

SPRING: May 1 - June 30.

SUMMER: July 1 - August 31

FALL: September 1 - October 31

That's it. That's the truth. None of this child-like, manufactured, enthusiasm about spring in March. March sucks, and April ain't much better. Winter is long, spring and summer are short. Fall practically doesn't exist; September is often summer-like, October is often winter-like.

If you try to blow smoke up my ass, and I guarantee you one guy I work with will, I will drag you outside and drive your face into a snowbank and ask "That feel like spring to you?"

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