Who Took My Tooth?

Had a tooth yanked out of my skull on Thursday.

Not that big a deal; I was surprised at how quickly it went. Also surprised at what a pain in the ass it's been since. C'est la vie.

Got home from Dr. Dentist around 12:30 and voluntarily subjected myself to emotional extortion.

Set up comfortably in the recliner and watched two documentaries. One on Jim Brown, one on Bob Dylan playing at the Newport Folk Festival 1963-1964-1965.

Great documentaries about two men who mean a lot to me.

I have been diagnosed with Stage IV of life. It's getting dark, baby. 

So my perspective of the people who inspire me is hugely different in 2023 than it was in the 1960's. I could say that I have matured, but that would be a lie. The perspective changes relative to life, not relative to the man.

I watch these things with a great deal of melancholy now. These guys inspired me when I was young, when I still thought I could live my life uniquely instead of like a sheep. That never happened. So I sit and watch film of them shaking up the world and living life on their own terms, and wonder why a small piece of their greatness never made it from my soul into tangible decisions about my own life.

I knew that Jim Brown's toughness of character and Bob Dylan's creativity were two weapons I could use against the world. I could use a bit more toughness in my approach to life; I have some level of creativity that I never nurtured.

Who knows why these things rarely come to be. It is one thing to admire someone and to identify specific things about them that might be useful in your own life, lessons to be learned; and quite another to do something about it.

It's easier to buy a t-shirt.

It was comforting sitting in the recliner with a numb mouth, mourning the loss of a purloined tooth, and watching these documentaries.

Jim Brown and Bob Dylan have given me huge amounts of pleasure. It would be silly to compare their lives and my own in any way.

Still....................