Wow, I walked into my room and noticed my dust covered CD player. I haven't paid any attention to it since the Ipod came into my life, haven't even noticed it. Suddenly today it caught my eye, neglected and covered with dust.
That machine served me well. Countless hours of pleasure, out loud and with headphones, rocking my soul, inspiring my tears, making me think, feel and live. I remember buying it on my limited budget. If I earned the money I should be earning I would have the top of the line very best audio equipment in the universe. In this case, as always, after feeding the mortgage vampire and making sure we had enough cat food in the cupboard for the cats, Carol and me, I had about $60 or $80 dollars left to spend on my soul. Still I listened to every goddamn CD player they had in the joint. I am very picky about my religion. Too tinny and skinny, vibrations with loud bass lines, not enough volume power, I am not going to buy it. For the money, this CD player had a nice sound. And now I have cast it aside.
I have gone from record players to eight tracks to cassettes to CD's to an Ipod in my life. Each time gleefully casting aside the previous medium. That's a lie. LP's and CD's I was very attached to. Treated them reverently. Still I moved on.
Really didn't give much thought to the situation as each medium became obsolete. because I was younger and I revere music and as long as everything is improving, I can dig it.
I am thinking about it more right now. The change is accelerating and it gets harder and harder to assimilate it all, make sense of it and understand it. When you are younger you absorb the new, you accept the changes and you get the most out of them that you can. But the truth is, at this advanced stage of my life, I am only using a small per centage of the capabilities of the new technologies. I am not a computer wiz, I am only functional. I am not getting the most out of the internet, not using all the power (?) of facebook, using only a fraction of my Ipod's capabilities, can't keep up with all the advances in TV's.
It occurs to me that that is how life works. When you are younger everything is fresh and exciting, nothing intimidates, everything informs and your brain travels at the speed of light. You get older and things start to pass you by. You are moving slower and the world is moving even faster.
My approach at this point is to squeeze whatever pleasure and advantage I can out of the new stuff. Figure out as much as I can and go to my personal consultants, Keith and Craig, when I am confused. I get intimidated at times, but I realize this stuff can help me and even improve my life, give me a little more pleasure (talking Ipod, baby) so it's worth the effort.
But it does make you realize that you are getting older and ain't nothing going to slow that deal down. I'm Ok with that. I am working like a dog this year to improve my life and I will succeed.
But the dusty CD player got to me this morning. These things have meaning in your life (if you are an oversensitive humanoid like me). You grab onto them and bing bang boom you are digging the good vibe they give you, the release, the emotional expression. They become a part of your life. A new and improved technology comes along and they get stuck in a corner or a museum, collecting dust.
This will happen to me. I might have a little dust on me already, even though I am trying to keep moving. But at some point I will become technologically obsolete. Happened to my parents, my grandparents and every goddamn human who came before me.
But I am going to keep on fighting. Changing, rearranging, living, laughing and loving. I'm not too old to stop learning. Far from it. If you try to put me off in a corner right now I will bite your hand off.
All this from noticing a dusty CD player off in a corner. Life is mysterious, life is cool. Especially when you have a magnificent family and magnificent friends to feed your soul.
And an Ipod. A wondrous, life giving Ipod. Sorry Cd player, I loved you when I could and fond memories will linger, but I have moved on. I had to move on. Ain't nobody gonna run me over until I am ready to get run over.
Ciao, baby.
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